ETHER'S JOURNAL

Wednesday November 18th, 2009

All of the album is recorded except for the vocals. I plan on being able to finish those by the end of this year (money is an issue) and then it's just a matter of mixing it and getting the thing manufactured and in to people's hands.

What else is going on? Well, Autonomy did a fun show during the Minneapolis Zombie Pub Crawl and played to a great audience at the Red Sea. We've mainly been keeping a low profile though- writing new material and reconnecting as a band with Rockula back behind the kit. We are forcing ourselves outside of our comfort zone to write new material with new instrumentation and electronics and such. It's a much more experimental approach this time around, which is to be expected because we're not the kind of band that takes steps backwards.

There are 2 or 3 new electronic songs we are working on, as well as a piano song and a couple songs with more traditional/familiar instrumentation. This time around I'm not the one writing everything- the whole band is. Rockula and Billy have been doing as much if not more than me on this new material so it's exciting to try a new approach.

 

 

Thursday September 17th, 2009

I took Autonomy into the studio to record our second album this past weekend.

I've been waiting for YEARS to say that. Ahhh. It feels good. It's actually true, too! We're recording our long-awaited, no wait, I can't even call it 'long-awaited' because at this point I think people have long since given up that it would ever arrive. A better way to word it might be "our presumed dead album" - yeah, I like that much better.

Anyway, the recording is going swimmingly. On the first day, Jendeen laid down her drum tracks- and boy did she ever. She nailed it on the 1st or 2nd take on every song and gave us brilliant performances. I didn't realize how good these takes were until I was able to listen back to them. Wow. There is drumming on there that is otherworldly and my only concern is whether or not people will be able to relate to the incredible blizzard of notes she is bombarding them with.

I was initially a bit perterbed with Billy because he showed up late to our session(s). He shut me up very quickly though, because once he started doing his guitar takes it went really fast. He not only nailed his parts on the 1st or 2nd take the way Jendeen did, but his solos were outstanding. He even came up with some really nice little flourishes to add to solos in songs, like harmonized guitar leads. Very impressive indeed, and needless to say I wasn't annoyed with him after that.

When it was my turn to lay down bass parts, I really had my work cut out for me. Those two had set a very high standard and had given me fantastic parts to play to. I ended up recording a clean bass tone for everything, and then recorded a FX tone and/or distortion tone as a separate track. The goal in mixdown will be to blend those two tones to create the bass tone that I am going for. I borrowed an Ampeg half stack rack amplifier to use in this recording and it sure sounds sweet. I was able to mic the cabinet and we experimented with different microphones to get the certain sound I was looking for. I used my vintage 1974 Les Paul Recording Bass, naturally.

I will have to wait a while to be able to afford the rest of the process, but it was important for me to at least get Jendeen recorded before she left the state. We accomplished that and it's going to be a real treat to have an album that features her in the Autonomy discography. It was important for me to have an album that represented these years we spent writing and performing with her, and this one will do just that. It's great material and some of my finest writing is on this album so I can't wait to have a recording I can show off to people again.

 

 

Saturday August 22nd, 2009

Last night we played our last show with Jendeen. It was an emotional one. I had all of these things planned I was going to say to pay tribute to our longtime musical cohort and friend- but when it came time to do so I got all choked-up and had no words. So we just did the show and everyone seemed to like it just as they always do. People loved Jendeen as they always do, and complimented her and talked about how great she was. Autonomy dominated the stage yet again and everything was as it always was.

That's the thing with Jendeen. You can expect a certain level of awesomeness every time. She's very consistent. I rarely catch her on a bad day, and she tries to keep her head up and seems to always make people smile. She's always a professional and always leaves it all up on stage which to me, as a musician, is something I value greatly. How could I ask for more?

Jendeen will be missed of course. It's an odd situation because with Rockula back in town he has agreed to take over the drum throne again when she leaves as she did for him when he left. Jendeen wasn't fired. Jendeen didn't quit. She's just moving away and Autonomy is continuing to do music. So who knows if this is her last show? I don't. I'm not thinking of this in terms of her leaving the band, just leaving the state. Perhaps if we play out there sometime or if she comes back to visit or do gigs she can sit in. Autonomy has always done things it's own way and I see no reason to start being a 'normal' band now. This situation is as unique as the band it concerns, and we will treat it as such. At the end of the day we adore Jendeen and wish her all the best in her pursuits out west, and she will always have a musical home in Autonomy.

 

 

Thursday March 19th, 2009

It's been a long hiatus for Autonomy. We didn't get a whole lot done during the holidays, we had some scheduling conflicts and some illness, and then Billy took two vacations overseas. On top of this stuff our rehearsal space is closing up and we are severing our ties with our label partner. The band members seem to be losing focus or interest. This truly is a crossroads for the band because for the first time since Rockula left the group I am forced to question whether or not it is worth it to go on with Autonomy.

It's a decision made more difficult by the greatness of the group. Both of the people I work with are fantastic musicians and dear friends of mine. I don't always get the level of effort/time out of them that I would like, but I certainly can't take anything away from them as players or as people. Billy is a very close friend of mine and I've known him quite a long time now. He was with me during the early days of Autonomy and helped me to form much of the band's early music. The Autonomy album is the first major recording project he ever worked on and he did a fantastic job on it. He has grown into an incredibly guitar player and has honed his craft far beyond the young upstart that first joined Autonomy so many years ago. When I think of Jendeen I just see a kindred spirit. I see class and grace. She and I are alike in a lot of ways, and it took no effort to form a strong friendship with her when we first met. She is one of the best drummers I've ever worked with and has a prowess on her instrument that most people will never come close to matching. She has a big heart and a very kind way about her and I think that gets forgotten sometimes- lost in the shadow of her legendary drumming.

And then there's me. I really feel I'm at the top of my game these days in terms of my singing, but I'm having trouble making ends meet financially. My bass gear is falling apart and I have no means of replacing/repairing it. I need a new amp in the worst way and I can't afford one. I am very proud of the material we have for the new album, and I would love to record it and promote it- but that also takes money. I am at the point in my career where I am in my prime and it's a shame that it's being wasted because there is no money behind me. The band hasn't even been behind me lately, which is perhaps the hardest pill to swallow. Apathy and laziness have caused this group to flounder for the last year or two and it's really a shame because when we actually DO take the stage- it's magic. This band can outperform anyone out there IMHO, and I absolutely love performing with Autonomy.

I am dying to record this album. I'm dying to get on tour promoting this music and performing this awesome material for people. I am dying to get some spark going in the musicians I work with. It boils down to that, it seems.

The band is going to meet to talk more about this stuff. I've talked with Billy and Jendeen both individually, but I think it will take the three of us together to actually reach a decision. I hope that will happen on Tuesday of next week. We shall see- and I'll keep you posted.

 

 

Tuesday December 30th, 2008

I'm getting excited for Back Alley's big New Years Eve show at the Schooner Bar. Sure, it's a small/quaint little bar that's lived forever in South Minneapolis. Sure it will be full of drunk people and cheap booze. Sure, it's probably going to snow like crazy- I don't care about those things. I just think it's going to be a great time with friends, and these days I could use a great time with friends.

Back Alley got together earlier in the week to work up 2 new songs for the show. Well, we didn't get 2 done. We got 1 song sort of ready. It's still not real solid, but then again nothing this band does it that solid.

In Autonomy world, things are on hold. Jendeen has hurt her hand and is taking a break from playing for a bit, and I'm just writing a lot hoping to get one or two more songs in on the new album. The good news is we have a big show coming together for the end of January which will be with our friends from Gabriel and thee Apocalypse. They are such awesome people, and such a good band that we couldn't resist.

 

 

Friday December 12th, 2008

On Thursday December 11th 2008 the greatest pinup model of all time, Bettie Page, passed away at age 85. She was not only the 'Queen of Pinup' but also a classic American beauty who became an icon. For me, she was the epitome of feminine beauty.

When I was studying sculpture as a boy, I recall working on a sculpture of a nude goddess standing and stretching her arms skyward. My art teacher liked the piece, but said I was getting the back muscles 'all wrong'. I remember he kept trying to explain how the female back is so nuanced and beautiful, and how if you miss these nuances it ends up looking masculine. He taught me that there is a muscle right where the lower back and the crack meet that is triangular in shape - he described as the 'most beautiful part of the female body'. I tried and tried and couldn't get my sculpture to look right. The next day, he brought in a calendar that had Bettie Page images in it and said, 'this will help you to figure out that goddess piece- she's perfect'.

Indeed she was. She had the perfect proportions, an amazing smile, eyes you could get lost in, legs and feet that won't quit, an unbelievable figure, perfect hands and wrists, and everything else was right where it was supposed to be. Her classic hairstyle framed her face perfectly. From a sculpting perspective, she had amazing bone and muscle structure and the most fantastic curves. Real people just don't look like that- she's a freak of nature.

The one thing that is missed by most people isn't the physical features, however. People are quite aware of what she looks like and how alluring she is. What always struck me about her is how hints of her personality always come through in the photos. She has an enigmatic radiance that great models have and the rest of us are drawn to. An inner energy that can be seen so clearly in her work that makes her all the more intriguing. Bettie was a religious person but didn't need to be told what she believed. She came to her own conclusions and refused to be made to feel bad about what she did or how she looked. At a time when people were ashamed of nudity she celebrated it. I admire her as much for her beauty as for what she represented and I can't help but feel the world awakens a little diminished without her in it.

Rest in peace, dear Bettie

 

 

Monday November 24th, 2008

It's getting cold outside. Really cold. Not really snowy, just cold.

I'm very frustrated lately. Every aspect of my life is frustrating these days it seems. My musical endeavors, my personal life, my work life, my financial outlook, the holidays- all of it. It's all just frustrating.

Now Billy is going on a trip to Europe, which means no band practice... unless Jendeen and I decide to get together and work stuff out. We may do that, I don't know. It's hard to be a trio with 2 people. I don't mean to come across as bitter at Billy or anything, because I'm totally NOT at all. I'm really happy for him that he gets to travel and have this great experience. For me, it's just selfish because I want to practice a lot. I'm making this time off into a positive though by planning the return of Autonomy. We're going to take some time off from gigging and record a new album, and I hope to make a big splash when we release this album so I've already begun planning. This album will be the finest work of my musical career, so I want to push it hard.

Part of the retooling of Autonomy is likely to involve a change in the people we work with. We will definitely be changing record labels, as UTR is not helping us accomplish our goals. I will be shopping the new album around and if we don't find a deal we like then we will just self-produce it. After all, our name is AUTONOMY.

I'm very excited about the work I'm doing with Geoff from OBCT. He's very talented and we have some great tracks cooking. The stuff so far sounds like a bit of a cross between trip-hop and NIN with a dash of Orgy: all music I love. It's very electronic and there are no plans to perform it live. I'm sure when we have enough material we may look at it and decide to name it and release a CD or something. I had been working on a solo album, but now I'm thinking of using some of that material with Geoff. I don't dare call what I do with him a 'solo' project as he is just as involved/responsible for it as I am. I'm really keen on exploring new ground with him and having the creative bouncing of ideas between he and I. He's so good, and we work together so fast. Stuff just falls into place quickly. Our only setback is we don't have much time, so we rarely can get together to work on things. It's ok though, when we do, we get a lot of work done.

Rockula has also asked me to play on a track he recorded, so I'm messing around with that. I think he expects to release that album online and he has some very interesting and ambitious stuff going on. I've always loved and admired his creative spirit and his fearlessness.

Back Alley is still doing their thing. I've got a gig with them at the Schooner the day before Thanksgiving that I'm excited about. I love playing there with that band. We always have a good time there, and the people love us so it's really a positive experience all around. We've been working on new material including a Van Halen song. I didn't know I could sing Van Halen and pull it off. Turns out, I can. I was concerned because it's not as if the vocals are that hard- it's the attitude that sells a Van Halen song... I'm talking Van Halen, BTW, not Van Hagar.

 

 

Monday November 18th, 2008

The presidential elections are over, and Barack Obama is going to be our next president. I am eager to see if he can deliver on his promises and solve the worsening economic crisis in this country. We're also at war in two countries and have a whole host of other problems he will need to contend with. He has the benefit of a friendly congress and a strong mandate from the voters, so he really has no excuse. It's 'put up or shut up time', as they say. I'm all for giving him a chance and I hope he's able to do what people elected him to do. It's going to take more than eloquent speeches and natural charisma to get us out of this thing.

Here in Minnesota, we had an interesting senate race as well. Republican Norm Coleman went up against former SNL alum Al Franken. I wasn't a fan of either one of them. I despise Norm Coleman and see right through him as being the fake, polished plastic, glad-handing, career politician douchebag that he is. He is bad for the state that I live in and I wanted him out of office forever. On the other hand, we had Al Franken. Al Franken is the typical angry liberal who actually is quite boring in most ways. I used to listen to him on the now defunct radio station Air America, and his program put me to sleep every time. He's so pleased with how right he is that he never stops to actually realize how little people care that he's right. People don't want you to just be right, they want you to have a plan and get things done. Al Franken doesn't just tell jokes, he is a joke as a politician and has no experience or plan to back up any of the stuff he says. At least he and I both agree that Coleman had to go. With the election over, there is still no winner. We are recounting votes to see who won the thing. Coleman has the edge. I don't really care at this point.

 

 

Halloween 2008

I played a show with Back Alley on Halloween in Mora, MN. It sucked. I enjoyed being with the guys, but the audience there was not really into it and turned in early. The funny part is I set out to win those people over and I worked my butt off. I was convinced I could get those people into a partying mood, and it just wasn't happeneing. I did everything short of grabbing the battery and jumper cables out of my truck and electrocuting people.

Oh well, I made a bunch of money off the gig and I went out and bought myself a new winter coat. I love my new coat.

 

 

Sunday October 19th, 2008

Autonomy played a show titled "Rocktoberfest 2008" last night at the Trocaderos venue. I was not pleased with the way this show was put together, and I was really hoping for more of a bang. I didn't see the effort being put into promotion of this gig by certain other parties involved in it, and I felt the overall theme was confusing and disjointed. The groups involved in it lacked a common appeal. I find that is a mark of death for a show of any kind. These groups were widely different in style and fanbase, and the people attending didn't really know what to make of it. If something came up that they didn't like or relate to, they left.

I was also being lured into a spat between the folks from Vicious Violet and the event's organizer Nick Oz. Vicious Violet was scheduled to go on last and were concerned that their set was going to be cut short, and Nick was decidedly disinterested in hearing about it considering the poor turnout. I felt I was being prodded to get involved in this but I managed to keep my hands clean of it. As much as I appreciate Vicious Violet's position, I also understand Nick's frustration at the lack of promotion by the bands at this show- and by the club itself, frankly. All I know is Autonomy was assured a certain amount of time on stage and I intended on using it because we always pull our weight in terms of promotion. We work hard at it, we bring people, and we put on a great show... so getting involved in that disagreement wasn't really something I wanted to do. The only reason it had to involve me is because the only way Vicious Violet would get on stage earlier and have more time would be if we cut our set short. The bands had all run over their time and that pushes things later, so I was being asked to cut my set short. I decided to make a peace offering in the end by cutting out 1 song. It turned out to be moot, as nobody seemed to appreciate that we'd cut our set short. Oh well.

 

 

Monday June 23rd, 2008

My favorite comedian, George Carlin, has passed away at the age of 71.  He died of heart failure.  I am extremely bummed out by this news. 

This man was a genius.  For me he brought together elements of philosophy, sociology, and social commentary in a way that I'd never heard before.  He questioned authority.  He pointed out the ridiculousness of our society and of the things that make us 'all the same'.  I adore his humor, and I think this world awakens a bit diminished with his absence. 

If you're unfamiliar with is work, I ask you to seek out some recordings...  or video...  you will laugh until you ache, and yet it will make you think about things and perhaps view the world a little bit differently.  His humor operates on a level that most comedians could never hope to acheive, and it's something one must experience to understand. 

If you are familiar with his stuff, then take some time this week to dust off the album, pull that video tape out of storage, or pop the DVD in the player and go for a ride with old George.  I know I will.

__________________________________________

Here are some Funny George Carlin jokes and quotations:

• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
• How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
• Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If God dropped acid, would he see people?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
• If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
• Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
• Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
• Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
• Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?
• If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that shit?
• Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
• I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
• I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
• I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
• Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
• I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
• Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
• Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
• You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
• I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
• One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

 

 

Monday June 9th, 2008

So Autonomy has been given this huge opportunity, and I am really excited about the potential it holds for us.  This band that I've poured my heart and soul into, that I've bled for, fought tooth and nail for, cried for, and built my life around is getting a break.  We've landed a show with Sick of Sarah at Trocaderos on June 20th and I am thrilled!

First of all, that club is beautiful.  What a fantastic stage, setting, and sound system!  It is going to present the majesty of Autonomy better than any club ever has to date, and that pleases me greatly. 

Secondly, I've heard tons of good things about Sick of Sarah and it should be really fun to share a stage with them.  They've been featured on MTV's Battle of the Bands, and have toured extensively with great success.  It will be fun to check out their set and pick their brains a bit.  Not just that, but they are Autonomy newbies so I always love a chance to blow away a new set of people.  They have no idea what they're in for.

Thirdly, this gig is on the official first day of summer.  It is really cool to have an event we can invite all of our friends, fans, and fiends to where we can kick off the summer of 2008 in style.  I've gotten tons of questions about when Autonomy is playing and it's really nice to finally be able to tell people what we've been brewing up all this time.  I really hope you all mark your calendars and make it out!

 

Friday May 23rd, 2008

I played a solo show last night at Club Underground, which was basically the rescheduling of the show I had to cancel a few weeks back with Sirens of Titan. It was good to finally play this set I'd been working on, and get over the nerves I had. This is the first time I've ever played a solo set on piano, so it was a big deal to me. I screwed up plenty, but mostly because I was nervous and couldn't get my hands to do what they were supposed to. Fortunately by the third song I started to relax and get into the zone a little more. I was able to get the music out a lot better as my time on stage went on, and I had a decent crowd of people there cheering me on so I felt pretty good about the night.

A couple of people actually told me they preferred my solo piano stuff to Autonomy. Wow. That was a huge compliment. Maybe they were buttering me up to make me feel better, but in any case it was a nice thing to say.

I performed a lot of solo pieces I'd written years ago for a solo album I never released. Out of those writing sessions came a song Autonomy did on our first album called "Everyone Serves a Purpose". I performed that in it's original form and it went over pretty well. I like it on piano because it sounds a lot darker and more brooding they way I do it. I also did renditions of a couple of Nine Inch Nails songs and performed a Bob Dylan song called "Masters of War" with Sam Rhode from Sirens of Titan playing guitar. I also threw in a few bars of "Free Fallin" by Tom Petty as a bit of an inside joke.

 

 

Tuesday April 15th, 2008

My show tomorrow night has been cancelled. I'm really bummed out about it because the booking agent who landed the show (not ours) screwed up and doesn't care. The club doesn't care. It's pretty much a bad situation and very disrespectful. It speaks volumes about the quality of character one has to deal with in music business.

I'll give this person a chance to redeem themselves, but just one. If it happens again I'm through with them and that's that. I do not like being walked on, and I can't tolerate a wonderful band like Autonomy being treated poorly.

 

 

Thursday April 3, 2008

Winter is dying, things are melting. I am thawing out like Megatron in the Transformers movie after a long cold slumber. My senses are awakening. My pulse is picking up. Energy is beginning to surge through me again the way it once did.

I am preparing to do a solo set next month. I am preparing a lot of new songs, as well as a couple of covers of NIN songs. Unlike past solo shows, my goal is to do this one entirely solo. No accompanyment or other musicians at all. I just want to make all the sound myself and see if I can do it. This one will also be unlike other solo shows because I won't play as much bass- if any. I want to do mostly piano and keep it very quiet and intimate. Much of the material I am working up has never been performed live before. A few of the songs were originally written for a solo album I wrote but never released in 2000. Some of the songs are even older than that, and 1 or 2 are actually quite recent. I still haven't finalized what I'm doing, and I'm not sure I will. I might just go up there and play whatever comes to mind. I like that idea. I never do that.

 

 

Thursday January 3, 2008

My band, Autonomy, has pretty much taken the months of December and (most of) January off.   This is due partly to the fact that playing gigs in Minnesota during those months generally sucks.  It's also due partly to the convenience of eliminating holiday scheduling conflicts.  The PRIMARY reason for taking this time off, however, is to step back from everything to really figure out what we are doing, where we are going, and what the future of Autonomy holds.  It is this reason that I am writing about today.

Billy, Jendeen, and I met early in December to chat about the band in general.  We drank some wine, shared a few laughs, and really tried to get to the bottom of this whole Autonomy thing.  It was a very good thing to do, and I think we are going in to 2008 much more focused than we were.  While we now understand what each other wants to get out of this band and have all expressed our commitment to it, I was left with some unanswered questions that I have pondered since the meeting. 

I've reflected on these things and have developed a new perspective on the band that is very refreshing.  What we must do is cease to simply call ourselves Autonomy- but to become autonomous.  Autonomy will set an example by living up to it's name.  The three of us, along with our fans and supporters, will create music, shows, and art on our own terms.  We must become an example of what it is to be a truly independent band by abandoning the traditional ways a band is supposed to find success.  The model by which so many bands operate is broken, and in the rare cases where it does work it serves only to diminish the creativity and output of the group.  Sure, we could play ball and probably be more successful.  Sure, we could pander to the masses by regurgitating the rock formula that is all too familiar these days.  And sure, we could enter in to business relationships where greedy and simple-minded people force us to create what they deem 'sellable'.  We don't want to. 

Autonomy in 2008 is a band that will create quality music on it's own terms.  We will answer to only each other on that, and that's final.  Autonomy isn't going to whore itself out for a record 'deal', or even acknowledge that such a relationship is worth it in the first place.  If we can find a label who knows it's role, fine, but if not then we will just publish our own CDs.  We have the ability to produce recorded material on our own, and we'll distribute it on our own if we must.  Autonomy in 2008 will also create more shows, work more closely with other bands, and help to raise awareness about some of the great talent in the fair city of Minneapolis and it's surrounding areas.  We will create our own artwork, stage shows, ideas, sounds, opinions and we will encourage others to do the same.  We will do as much as we can on our own, and call upon our friends, fans, supporters, and fellow bands to help us with the rest.  We will become self-sufficiant.  We will become autonomous. 

In 5 years, Autonomy has outlived just about all of the bands we started doing shows with.  We've watched bands come and go, musicians move from project to project, clubs open and close.  After all the dust has settled, we're still here.  We find ourselves in the odd position of 'veterans' of the Twin Cities music scene- and we are finally at a point where people actually are starting to know who we are.  We've got a reputation, a wonderful hometown fanbase, and the music just keeps getting better.  This band has endured where others have failed, and the loyalty our fans have shown us is overwhelming.  

I strongly feel we now have a responsibility to lead by example.  We must create the music we've always wished a band would create.  We must put together shows that the small-minded have been unable to assemble.  We have to unite the bands in this town that were previously treating each other as adversaries.  We have to get fans out of the mindset of 'seeing' a show and into the mindset of being part of an experience.  We must teach the world that a great song is a great song, whether it's coming out of a zillion-dollar studio with lots of money to promote it or if it's a song by a no-name band in a small midwestern town.  People must take responsibility for the music they listen to, invest themselves in it, and really LISTEN and VALUE it.  Most importantly, we must stop waiting for others to do it and realize that it's up to us.  We are Autonomy. 

So are you.

This is a huge risk.  Denying oneself the easy or well-trodden path could be called career suicide.  I am banking on the belief that the music industry has already committed suicide by slitting it's wrists- and it's only a matter of time until it bleeds to death.  The time is now for fresh thinking.  If we fail, we only have ourselves to blame and it would be a wonderful commentary on how broken the system really is.  If we succeed, there is no limit to the wonderous potential the future holds for all of us.

~Ether~

 

 

Tuesday January 1, 2008

"Notes on my solo, um, thing"

The solo set I played on Friday night was really fun (and scary!) and it was really touching to see so many people I knew at it. It was also good to see a showing of so many fans/friends of Autonomy. Despite our technical issues, and our lack of rehearsal beforehand, AND some last-minute changes that had to be made, I think it went pretty well. Billy, Newman and Tommy - you rock and thanks for the help!

There were some songs in my set that were very meaningful for me to perform that night and due to time constaints I didn't really point them out at the time. I did a song by one of my vocal heros (PJ Harvey) which is always a blast to perform. The song is called "To Bring You My Love" and it's a very moody, dark, spooky piece that I can't get enough of. Of course, I'm a sucker for that crap...

I also did my own rendition of Bob Dylan's "Masters of War" which is a very poignant tune about the politicians, businessmen, and wealthy folks who meddled with the Vietnam war. It's a song I did the last time I played a solo show and it was worth doing again because the words are still so timely, powerful, and accurate today. I encourage anyone unfamiliar with the song to look up the lyrics and read through them, because they are amazing. I love the way Dylan places blame on the right people in such a scathingly direct way, and leaves the soldiers out of it. It is refreshing to read at a time when people who are against war are branded as being 'against the troops'. Songs like that cut through the propaganda and tell it like it really is, and I adore that.

I did another dark and spooky piece with Newman- "Like Suicide" by Soundgarden. Every time I sing Chris Cornell stuff I am reminded of my own mortality, which is to say I see how much more I have to learn about being a singer! While I am certain I don't have pipes like he does, I do love the song and enjoy trying to do justice to it. It's always a challenge and it pushes my abilities- always a healthy thing to do to oneself.

Billy and I did a new arrangement of "Found in Blood" by out band, Autonomy. I don't think it's quite done yet but I like what we have so far and it was really a treat to try something different with that familiar song.

I think next time I do something like this, I'll change it up considerably. I'd like to bring keys and do some piano/electronics next time I perform solo so look for that. It would be fun to engineer some live beats and play with samples and keys and bass so I'll be playing with those toys for a while. If I come up with something, I'll see about setting up another show to try it out on y'all again. You will be invited!

 

 

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

"Bless this mess"

After the last two shows that my band participated in, I have to say I am really happy to be a musician in this wonderful town.  People talk sh*t all the time and put it down, but there is no place I'd rather be right now.  We have a great pool of artists putting out very ambitious music all the time here, and that's more than I can say for most cities in the US right now. 

One of the shows we did features the musical stylings of Farewell Pluto.  This is a rather newish band, but they recently put out a new disc that shows more than just potential for this band.  They really are putting out some ambitious yet accessible music and it's been fun to watch them evolve.  Plus, I got to design their logo which was an honor.  That very same show had my favorite local band closing the evening- Sirens of Titan.  They have a new disc out as well which is pretty much riff candy with lovely poetry over it.  It's just tasty riffs & clever changes over and over and some big powerful vocals draped over the top of it.  I've been following them for some time now, and they just keep improving every time I see them.  So you had these two bands, with Autonomy sandwiched in between them.  It was an orgy of great Minnesota music and I was in heaven. 

We then played a show at Club Underground with OBCT just a couple of days afterwards.  I was on such a high that I wasn't sure this show would compare- but it was so different that it defied comparison.  This band called Kaligula played some really strange mexican metal, and then the Obese took the stage. I was really impressed with OBCT's show last time I saw them, and this time they took it up another notch.  I've always been on friendly terms with these guys, but I wasn't always a fan.  Early on, I thought their music left a lot to be desired but over the years I've watched them develop and improve dramatically into the band they are today.  Who knows what they'll be TOMORROW, but at the moment they are one helluva band with a sound that I can't really compare to anyone else.  They've grown up as a band and what they are doing onstage is both valid and entertaining.  It's weird as hell, don't get me wrong, but it's very intriguing.  They have a new CD as well, and it's one of the more polished CDs I've heard from a local band in recent memory.  Very nice.

The good local bands go well beyond these too.  I've been discovering lots of cool local bands lately and the list keeps growing- moreso than ever since I've lived in Minneapolis.  I recently saw The Harbinger Process at The Rock and I just have to say WOW.  Very technical and talented.  Gabriel and thee Apocalypse had a rough show the last time I saw them, but overall they are a really good band and I've been a longtime fan of theirs.  In the Morning has a new drummer and just put on a pretty solid show at Club Underground.  Hangover Toy Company puts on really fun shows and so does Niobium.  There are many more to list, and not enough time or handstrength for me to list them all now.  Just know that Minneapolis, and Minnesota in general, is rockin' like never before right now and we need to spread the word!

So next time you hear someone say 'the scene is dead' just slap their face and tell them to get theirasses out to a local show. 

~Ether~

 

 

Monday October 29th, 2007

Poppy and I held our annual Halloween party at our home and it was a blast. We had a great turnout of friends- so many that I had a hard time making my rounds and giving my guests the attention they deserve. Fortunately Poppy was an excellent hostess and she did a great job of entertaining. I think everyone had a pretty good time though- I certainly did.

She dressed up as Satine from Moulin Rouge and I dressed as Will Ferrell doing Robert Goulet which basically allowed me to annoy everyone all evening with terrible singing. Yeah, not much of a stretch for me you might say. lol... anyway, Poppy had costume changes all night which were really cool... I just had to wear a suit, a turtleneck, and a fask moustache (which Geoff from OBCT ripped off my face at one point- I'm told there is video of this).

Keith and Kim were hugely instrumental in putting this thing together and pulling it off. They both had wicked costumes too... Once I get all the photos in I'll publish them for everyone to see... this party had the best costumes of any one we've done so far. Rockula was a big help as well- he sort of ran the downstairs dungeon of debauchery and from what I can tell that went pretty well. He played some horror films and other bizarre video throughout the night.

Cheers to everyone who came, jeers to those who missed-out, and thanks for making this Halloween a very memorable one for yours truly!

~Goulet!

 

 

Friday October 26th, 2007

"Flotsam and Jetsam Pt. 2"

Swimmers, levey-breakers, and those who have merely mastered the exquisite art of the flow:

Arcangel

Autonomy

Cassanatra

Club Underground

Cwyn Annwyn (or however you spell it!)

Farewell Pluto

Gabriel and thee Apocalypse

Hangover Toy Company

The Harbinger Process

Harsh Reality

Impaler

NemoJoe

Kelly Nicole

OBCT

Ponofo

The Pulse Magazine

Rockwatch

The Root of All Evil radio program

Seven Days Remain

Simplicia

Sirens of Titan

Stellar Vector

Xerus

and numerous others

_________________________________

 

Sinkers, builders, and/or those who fight the flow:

93X

AHC

The City Pages

The Current

Filthy Divine

The Fine Line

First Avenue

Gingerjake

KQRS

Pilla

Smilin Liar

and numerous others

 

 

Wednesday October 17th, 2007

"Flotsam and Jetsam"

The levy is breaking, and the flood waters are about to overtake us.  All of the annoying obstacles that lie in our path are about to become debris that will wash away.  No longer will they obstruct us, but rather they will be swept up with us and we all will go on a journey together.  No longer will we be so different- we will all become flotsam and jetsam.  The water will change the landscape we've become too familiar with and leave behind a new world.  We may not be there to enjoy it after we get where we're going, but the wise among us will understand that the trip is worth the risk. 

There are those among us who will be unable or unwilling to submit to the inevitable voyage.  There are those who will attempt to swim against the current only to find their bodies growing weaker and increasingly unable to resist.  Some will try to climb for higher ground to avoid the raging waters, but the ground beneath them will erode and become unstable.  Some will attempt to build elaborate structures to elevate them above or sheild them from the watery bosom of this new river only to have these constructs weaken, rot, crumble, and fail.  Some will surely try to stop what can not be stopped, and they will mourn the collapse of their repressive plans.  They will then try to redirect it, harness it, and otherwise control it- but by this time it will be running too wild to tame.

I have forseen it.  I feel it.  I've noted the changes taking place in the very fabric of the universe around us and I've conluded that although the choice to swim downstream may seem obvious to some, it's still is up to one to choose it.  Those of us who are already hacking away at the levy know our fate and have made our decision to ride the waves to our new home.  We will be the first to wash up on this strange and wonderous new shore, and will be waiting there with open arms to welcome those who follow. 

 

 

Monday August 13th, 2007

"Transformers!"

Ok, Statch accused me of being a geek because of my Godzilla diatribe- so now I must charge boldly down the path and fill the gaping void in my blog that is THE NEW TRANSFORMERS MOVIE.

Let me say this:  It rocks.

Now, allow me to say these other things:  When I went to the Transformers movie it dawned on me that it would probably be completely stupid and would most likely offend my childish love of the old cartoon/toys.  You see, I am a big part of the target demographic...  practically the definition of it.  I grew up with that sh*t and suffice it to say that Ether as a small child was obsessed with Legos, Star Wars, and Transformers- in no particular order.  These loves often grew into or stemmed from such greats as Battlestar Galactica,Voltron, Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends, and oddly enough the Great Space Coaster.   Don't ask. 

But I digress.  The point is that I was skeptical that this movie would live up to my expectations but it did quite the opposite.  It was visually overwhelming and had a fresh take on the story which I quite enjoyed.  To appeal to people like me, they even through in a few catchphrases from the cartoon, and Optimus Prime even had the right voice.  Awesome, badass, gnarly, and cowabunga dude.

 

 

Wednesday July 25th, 2007

I just have to say, Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla embodies all that is great about these movies.  Sure, it's a 90s-era film (I want to say 1994 or 1995) and lacks some of the camp associated with the ones from the 70s, but it makes up for it with fantastic monsters and a great plot (rare!).  When the resurrected the francise in the 90s, they didn't stray too terribly far from the formula that makes Godzilla films great- they just have better FX.  Best of all, they do away with much of the set-up and drama/dialogue crap that urge me to fast-forward and instead offer up constant monster battles.  I'm talking about building-crushing, lasers, missiles, experimental vehicles, a hairbrain humanoid scheme to control Godzilla that naturally fails, and of course the big green guy looking & fighting better than ever.  The humans even employ the Godzilla-like Moguera mecha in this one (which seems to always get it's ass kicked), and there is even a role for baby Godzilla that doesn't make me vomit.  Space Godzilla is one of Godzilla's most formidable foes ever- being a creature cloned from G's own DNA.  Indeed, it is a many-splendored thing.

 

Monday July 23rd, 2007

Recent events in my life have taught me an important and long overdue lesson.  I won't say exactly what lesson it is I learned exactly, because to do so would be to expose all too much of myself to my enemies.  Suffice it to say that the lesson I learned is giving rise to a more business saavy, more ruthless, less trusting, less 'Minnesota nice' Ether.  I will not allow my politeness and easygoing demeanor to be misconstrued as weakness, or encourage my enemies to treat me as a doormat. 

Who are my enemies?  Simply put, they are those who stand in the way of my vision.  Those who sabotage my efforts.  Those who stack the deck against me, and in their favor.  Most importantly, my enemies are backstabbers who manufacture friendship for the purpose of deception and personal gain.  These are the lowest form of life to me, and I will not tolerate them any longer.  It's business.

Fortunately, the particular person that has spurred this reaction with their recent betrayal isn't very smart.  This person is an attention whore who is consumed by their own vanity.  Enemies like this are easy to predict, which makes them easy to manipulate and, ultimately, ruin.  This person also chose a particularily unrewarding way in which to expose their true colors to me, which I can only look upon as a gift.  They could have saved their 'trust capital' for a strike much more effective than this, but they squandered it.  Now all further attempts they make will surely be foiled, because now I'm ready for them. 

While it is entirely possible that this person will figure out who they are by this message, I doubt it.  People who stare in the mirror constantly rarely take time to observe the world around them.  Regardless, it's inconsequential.  People like this are only threatened by me because they recognize what I represent and are threatened by it.  By wasting their backstabbing attack on something so meaningless and of nominal gain they have shown that they underestimate me- and that is their Achilles heel. 

 

Sunday July 7th, 2007

Autonomy performed last night, without 2/3 of Autonomy.  I played this show at Club Underground in Minneapolis on my own, and invited some guest musicians onstage to accompany me on certain selections.  I was nervous about striking out on my own for this show, but now I'm glad I did it.

I started off the show by playing 3 songs completely solo- just me and an accoustic bass guitar.  I started with two Autonomy songs (Scars, The Stranglehold) and then played a Bob Dylan song (Masters of War).  The songs went over pretty well, much to my surprise.  I wasn't sure if people would dig just a solo bass and vocal, but I think it played pretty well to the audience and was certainly a more intimate feeling performance than usual. 

I followed that with 2 songs accompanied by Charles Sadler of Stellar Vector fame.  He played piano and, despite some equipment trouble, did a great job performing the arrangements he came up with for two Autonomy songs - Everyone Serves a Purpose, Ophelia.  It was cool to finally perform with him, and some people told me they wish Autonomy would do Ophelia that way more often. 

After that, I invited Jake La Core from Gabriel and thee Apocalypse up to do 'Hurt' by Nine Inch Nails and I put down the bass to just sing it.  He played it perfectly and the song went over gangbusters.  It was at this point that I realized people were digging the set and it was going to be ok.  It's one of my favorite songs so it was an absolute delight to be able to perform it and it had the effect of putting me at ease for the rest of the night.  I liked Jake and his band from the moment I saw them, and we've become friends over the years so it was a real honor to finally perform with him.  I hope to do it again someday.

Newman came onstage next and did 'Like Suicide' by Soundgarden on guitar, and I again I just sang it.  The song rocked, and I felt pretty good about how I delivered it - even though I'm certainly no Chris Cornell!  We did 'Plush' by Stone Temple Pilots after that and that was comfortable because Newman and I have done that song a few times before with Back Alley.  Very fun though and Newman really did a splendid job.  I got many comments about what a good player he is after the show. 

Once Newman was done it was time for the grand finale...  my reunion with Rockula.  For those who don't know, Rockula was the first drummer for Autonomy and founded the band with me.  He's a longtime friend of mine and it was really cool of him to agree to play some songs with me.  Oddly enough, I didn't feel like we missed a beat (pardon the pun).  We were back in there jamming on the old songs like no time had passed- and I was really impressed that he gave it his all and took it seriously rather than just phoning it in.  He's a good drummer, so he very well could have just phoned it in but it was great that he wanted to really make an impact with these songs.  It was a very fun experience and definitely a trip down memory lane for me.  Rock was up to his old tricks - playing hard, setting up sideways, being a showman, all of it.  In the beginning he even rearranged the set I'd prepared.  We started off doing We Have It All, but he told me to stop it and switch to Ignite so we did.  The song rocked and it was really well-received.  Then we went into We Have It All and Marko really shined on that song.  Marko really brought his own rock star quality to the songs as well, and it was definitely evident as we went that he was becoming more comfortable.  As soon as we started playing 'Don't Preach' I was just laughing because Rock was hitting that drum kit so hard I couldn't believe it.  He pounded that song like nobody's business and brought that same energy into our last song - Tear It All Down. 

What a night. 

Thanks to everyone who played with me, and especially to the wonderful audience that was so supportive.  You all made it so much easier to be without my power trio!

 

July 3rd, 2007

I've agreed to perform a solo show in place of Autonomy for this coming Saturday at Club Underground, and I'm at once thrilled and terrified. I've never done anything like this before, and the task of putting together a set in 5 days is daunting to say the least. Fortunately, I've been able to contact some dear friends to aid me in playing these songs and I expect I can make it happen with some level of quality at least. It's sink or swim, and there is no band to hide behind this time, so I need to be on top of my game.

 

June 28th, 2007

I had the pleasure of seeing Tool perform this week.  It was the third time I've seen them on this tour, and all 3 were not only incredible musical/spiritual experiences but were unique in their own way.  This time it was at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul- by far the best venue for the band that I've ever seen (and I've seen a LOT!).  This time was not their best however, but it was no fault of their own.  The vocals were waaay too low and were drowned-out for much of the show.  If I didn't know every word and the nuance of all of his phrasing I probably wouldn't have been able to pick it out of that muddy mix.  Maynard's square of the stage was the only dark part of the stage, and that combined with the inability to hear him made his presence almost unknown.  He spoke very rarely between songs, and didn't deliver his usual witty banter between songs- quite surprising.

Fortunately the band could be heard VERY well and played perfectly.  They did a number of deviations from the recorded works which were really exciting to hear.  It gave their music the organic quality that I so lust for...  it is almost intoxicating to hear them tinker with their own perfection as only they can to find new levels and greater meaning within the songs.  My favorite song of the night was Jambi, by far.  They played the hell out of that song and I had to sit down afterwards and catch my breath, as if someone had literally just knocked the wind out of me. 

Going to a Tool show always leaves me with a couple of feelings.  For one, it is a humbling experience.  To see them performing such brilliant songs with such precision and love at first makes me feel very inadequate.  As I listen to the music unfold, the layers become more clear and it becomes evident that each part in and of itself is not that difficult- it's the way in which it's layered and presented.  The way the band speaks as a singular entity, delivering meaning on many levels through multiple forms of stimuli.  Once that sinks in, I am suddenly connected with it and able to open myself to it.  I become a part of it.  I am not just watching it, I am participating in it.  By the end, I leave with a profound feeling of inspiration.  I usually go home and write, record, play bass, tinker on the piano- anything I can do to get thoughts out of my head while the flood gates are open.  Tool concerts are what church should be.

 

June 14th, 2007

I've returned, at last, from California.

It was a marvelous trip, and a real treat for one who hasn't been to that state since childhood.  To experience San Diego as an adult was definitely an unforgettable, um, experience. 

Poppy and I were able to visit the San Diego Zoo- a manditory stop methinks.  It was truly a marvel and it pleased me greatly to see that all of the amazing animals who live there are treated extremely well.  The environments are natural and very engaging, and the animals all seem happy with their surroundings.  Even the Pandas, who are solitary creatures, are kept in relative isolation so they can do their thing as naturally as possible in captivity.  Visitors are instructed to keep voices down and movements slow so as not to disturb them.  They had amazing avian sanctuaries with all manner of parrots (naturally, my favorite) as well as other types of birds from around the globe- all free-flying and feeding in natural ways in some beautifully reconstructed environments.  There is one aviary that is devoted almost exclusively to hummingbirds, another of my favorite birds, which I could have spent hours in.  It was fascinating...  Anyway, I could go on and on about the San Diego Zoo, but suffice it to say it made the trip worth it on it's own.

We were able to experience a little of the nightlife in San Diego as well.  We rode the train to the gaslamp district, and walked all around 5th St taking in all the sights and sounds that has to offer.  We ate seafood, and drank overpriced drinks at some of the nicest places in town.  One that was particularily memorable was called 'Altitude'.  It's atop a skyscraper, outside, and overlooks the PETCO Park stadium where the Padres play.  The view is breathtaking, and the fresh sea air more intoxicating than the $10 drinks.  Money is everywhere in that city, and rubbed in your face - something I'm accustomed to having lived in Dallas, TX for a time.  I enjoyed looking at the cars- Lotus, Lamborghinis, beamers, Rolls Royces, Mustangs, and I even saw my favorite- the mighty Ferarri.  Granted, none of those rich pricks would so much as give me the time of day but I enjoyed drooling over their ridiculously useless cars. 

We were able to check out the tide pools on the point, and explore the rocks for all the creatures that inhabit them.  That was neato...  I swam in the ocean- something I hadn't done since childhood.  Very fun.  I ate fish tacos- that was a goal.  Another goal was to get an Ultimate Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box- a restaurant that doesn't exist in Minnesota but one that I enjoyed frequently in Texas.  I didn't have time to get to the Sourdough Jack, but one just can't fit all these things in!  We did so much, I couldn't possible cover it all...  We toured a naval base, saw an aircraft carrier, numerous boats of all types, saw seals, did both touristy and non-touristy things.  It is a very fun town. 

People were very friendly there, and our hosts were most gracious.  What a pleasure it was to meet everyone and I hope to see them all again someday.  It's very good to be home though, as I have much to do here.  I missed making music, so I'm all about diving back in.  Back Alley has a show Friday night at the Poodle, and Autonomy plays a big showcase Sunday night at Bar Pi so I've got to really get my head back in the game quickly... 

 

May 10th, 2007

I had a great show with my band, Autonomy, last week and it's really gotten me pondering things- specifically, my love for this band.  Having devoted so many years of my life to this band, it really has become a major part of my life. 

The show last weekend was special to me for a number of reasons.  First, the band sounded really good.  I won't say it was the best we've ever been or anything but I felt very great about the performance.  Secondly, the bands were fantastic.  For a change, I actually felt part of a music community instead of a succulent bite of the finest steak floating in a sea of vomit.  (ok, that's a bit extreme I know- but I thought it was clever imagery so I couldn't resist writing it)   I'd play alongside those bands anytime, and I hope we work together more often.  Everyone supported each other and there was a shared interest in putting on a kickass show.  Lastly, our first time at Club Underground was marvelous.  The band/club relationship they foster is very positive and fair- unlike so many bars.  They treat the bands well, have a professional staff, and you actually get paid fairly for your hard work.  More places should follow this example!

AND AGAIN, THE BANDS...  wow.  I have to say I am now a Farewell Pluto fan- what a performance!  I am so happy to have found them, and I need to get their CD immediately.  And the mighty Xerus is a band I've dug since the first time we played alongside them.  They have a fantastic chemstry onstage and some really stellar vocals. 

This experience really has sparked creativity for me.  I've been coming up with lyrics and song ideas ever since, coming out of an extrended dry period.  For some reason, I've had writer's block and have been unable to shake it.  It feels great to be inspired again.  It's making this old band of mine new to me again- and that is priceless.  It's amazing what a huge impact the little things can have on one's outlook.

Thanks to everyone who came to the show- all our fans and friends!  You all are the greatest inspiration a band can ask for and we absolutely love performing for you. 

 

April 30th, 2007

I just found out that Mstislav Rostropovich died recently, which is sad news to me and many of his fans.  He was, in my view, the greatest cellist in the world - and arguably the best in the history of recorded music.  Sadly, you probably won't see much about it in the papers or on the main pages on internet news outlets (I found the story in the tiny links at the bottom of a 'Britney cancels comeback concert' article)- although there will certainly be at least some mention in the small print for this great man.  Such minimal attention is unfair for a man who singlehandedly revolutionized the instrument, and who's touching interpretations of many of the Great works will be studied and enjoyed for centuries to come. 

I great up playing classical music in orchestras.  I played double bass - but as all classical bassists know, there is a kinship and mutual respect with cellists that runs deep.  Even though cello and bass have a lot of commonalities, I was always a little envious of the cello's abilities as a solo instrument- an area in which Slava shined. 

In my 20s I was really into Yo-Yo Ma, after seeing him in concert at Orchestra Hall in Minneapolis.  I later dated a girl who turned me on to Slava's work by telling me, "He's good, but he's no Rostropovich."  I began seeking out his recordings and videotaped performances to see if she was full of shit.  Who could outdo Yo-Yo?!?!  It turned out she was right, and this guy could speak through his instrument in a way in which I'd never before seen/heard/experienced.  I was an instant fan and admirer. 

Any music lover would be wise to check out one of his recordings.  Whether you are a classical fan or not, it doesn't matter.  I'm here to tell you that his playing transcends all genre, educational, racial, cultural, musical, and political boundries and I'm willing to bet it will speak to you if you'll only listen.  Especially Bach or Mahler stuff, although the man lived to 80 and played very late in life so the catalog of his work is monumental.  The options are limitless, so if you get the chance, pick some up and enjoy the work of maestro Rostropovich.

 

April 9th, 2007

The City Pages...  a fine publication...  I read it all the time. 

That being said, there is one area in which they definitely have room for improvement:  supporting local music.

There is a conspiracy against local artists happening here in the Twin Cities concerning the City Pages- the very newspaper that's supposed to go to bat for the original artists who deserve recognition.  You see, the City Pages only seems to care about the past music history of Minnepolis, not the present output of the many talented artists here in the metroplex.  Publications like the CP want a linear storyline concerning our 'scene' which connects the popular greats of our past (Replacements, Soul Asylum, etc.) with modern incarnations of the same thing.  They want to show you artists that capture the spirit of Minneapolis' past scenes so the reader can connect the dots and come to the assumption that there is an undercurrent driving the musical arts in a unified direction, for a unified cause.  While that does make for some nicely poetic feaux-insight, it slams the door shut on other trends that may be taking over here by denying them the exposure they deserve. 

When's the last time you read an article in the City Pages about the 4 'nobody bands' that played at the 7th St. Entry last monday?  When is the last time they turned you on to a lesser-known established band who suddenly released a really amazing album on their own dime?  When is the last time you read about a local rap group that isn't connected in any way to Atmosphere?  Can you recall the last time the City Pages wrote about a local metal showcase?  When is the last time they reviewed an independent album (ie: not on a label)? 

Do you wear black-rimmed glasses and mod clothing?  Have you mastered the perfect shag-haircut?  Are you part of the Husker-Du lineage?  Are you a cutesy grrl/boi with an accoustic guitar and clever lyrics?  Do you have an intelligent urban perspective?  Do you at least hang out with the rhymesayer guys?  Tell me you at least sound like what's already popular on the radio...?  No?  Well, forget about it then...  you'll never get in.

I suppose it's great for those artists who fit the description, but the sad thing is that most of the exciting moves in music around here for the past 5-10 years haven't.  Those bands are and continue to be the true pulse of Minneapolis (and thus, Minnesota). 

While the City Pages continues to paint a picture that everything relevant in this town comes from their sacred forefathers, there are artists blazing new trails all of the time who go unnoticed.  There are bands mixing punk with electronica.  There are downtuned accoustic rock bands with deep lyrics.  There are trip-hop-meets-lounge-meets-folk-singer duos.  There are progressive rock bands with tons of talent and style (though I won't name names... hehe).  There is a growing glam/darksider scene in this town that is actually getting really good.  There are also more metal bands than you can shake a stick at.  Country/rap acts are out there, as well as just about any other mixture you can come up with.  What's worse?  These bands of varied styles are all WORKING TOGETHER!  They are sharing stages, mixing audiences, supporting each other, and doing it all on their own.  How dare they?!?!

The point is, the Twin Cities haven't gotten less creative.  There is just as much (if not more) exciting music now than there was during the time of Husker-Du.  It's just that one-off acts of brilliance and originality don't fit nicely into their grand story about MINNEAPOLIS MUSIC.  If I hear someone talk about the golden years of the Minneapolis Music scene, I'm going to puke.  If I hear one more person say the last good band to come out of this town was Soul Asylum, I'm going to jump in front of a runaway train.  It's time to write a whole new history.

Do I just have sour grapes because the City Pages hasn't returned a letter, phone call, or e-mail from me in my 5 years of writing to them about my band?  Sure, I suppose I do- but I'm more upset that bands who impress the hell out of me every time I see them get no love from the very newspaper that is expected to discover them in this town. 

~Ether~

PS:  My conclusion is it's up to us to look out for each other.  If you discover a band that kicks your ass, tell me (and others) about it.  I'll do the same for you.  We need to spread the word about the groups that deserve attention or they simply won't get it. 

 

April 3rd, 2007

Alas, April Fool's Day came and went and I didn't even notice. Nothing happened, no jokes were played on or by me, and I didn't even spend the day looking over my shoulder because I wasn't aware of it until after it passed.

My friends Felicia and Paul took us to the Roller Derby recently to see the MN Rollergirls compete. It was a good time and a unique experience to be sure. I ate a really, really large pretzel with cheese dipping sauce. I have this dream of performing at one of these events someday. I think that would be really awesome.

Speaking of performing- I haven't done much of it lately. I sang a song with my friend Marko's band a couple of weeks ago, but that's about it. I recently have stepped-up efforts to get Autonomy booked in some venues for the summer, but it's an uphill struggle. Despite the tremendous success this band has had in the past year drawing-in crowds and playing amazing shows, booking is no easier. Clubs still treat us the same as any other band, even though we've demonstrated that we are a cut above. Bar closings and the smoking ban have damaged the local music scene terribly, and created a metroplex where stage space is scarce and pay is virtually nonexistant. There are just as many bands, now competing for less stage space on any given night - so it's a buyer's market when it comes to talent. Normally I wouldn't mind this because we're so much better that our 'competition', but clubs have no taste or vision and seem unable to see what is right in front of their faces.

I used to get a kick out of being the best band nobody has heard of, but now it's getting old. I'm ready to step it up and get some exposure so people understand the undeniable power of Autonomy. I am convinced that this year we must get some gigs that offer us exposure that will finally get us the attention we deserve and have worked to achieve for 5 years. Surprisingly, the music consumer seems to get it. They understand what we're doing and they love it. We get an audience for every show and our fanbase is constantly growing. It's the venues that are dropping the ball in recognizing what Autonomy can do for them, and it is endlessly frustrating. It blows my mind that the venues in this intelligent, thriving, artistic, metropolitan city can have such greed and utter disgust for the very music they claim to be supporting. The truth is most are out to get desparate musicians to entertain their clientele for free, do all of their advertising for them, and create the party for which they were merely charge admission and pour booze.

If I could find a place that recognized talent, had a vision, and wanted to sincerely work together with the quality bands in town to build a scene by entertaining people with awesome shows- I'd be all over it. So far such a place seems mythical or imaginary. Nobody has vision and everyone puts bands into their sad little exploitation machines- 'sad' because they don't really work. They're designed to make them lots of money, but instead they just make marginal money because the shows that result are CRAP and not worth attending. Where are the business visionaries in Minneapolis? St. Paul? Suburbs? Where are you?!?!? If you ever want to start putting on big shows and drawing those big crowds you dream of pouring your beer for, let's talk. I'm waiting for the call, but more importantly the people of Minnesota are waiting for you to give them what they want - THE SHOW.

I haven't given up, nor am I suggesting anyone should. I'm going to keep trying to convince these people to start throwing big parties that entertain people. I'm going to convince them that a good band is worth supporting. I'm going to keep trying to get them to open their minds a little and look at the big picture... start viewing shows as possibly something more than the standard 4-band lineup with 45 minute sets. And maybe trusting ALL of their advertising to musicians isn't the best business model. Maybe musicians should be counted-on to make music, and advertising people should do advertising. Novel idea, eh? Maybe our local radio stations could spare more than the worst 1 hour time slot in their week to showcase the abundant local talent we are blessed to have here. Maybe when they bring a big band to town, have a kickass local group open for it... get them some exposure... root for the hometown team for a change. I'm going to keep trying to convince people to take some pride in the hardworking artists they have in their very own backyard. Try try try, it's all I can do.

 

February 22nd, 2007

We played a killer show earlier this week, and I was really on a high about it. Then music business came in and stepped on my cloud. The club refused to pay us, or any of the bands for that matter. It pissed me off because we drew a good crowd for a Tuesday, and entertained them all, sold lots of beer and booze. Isnt' that the point (from their perspective)?

Anyway, this shady business practice isn't exclusive to them - sadly. Musicians are often asked to perform for little to nothing, and rarely is an arrangement made as to what they will be paid. There is no minimum wage for performers in bars. Nobody goes to bat for us in government, either. We are an unpopular minority. The fact that we are often used as slave entertainment just to get our music heard is never discussed in matters involving fair labor practices. No one cares. The fans don't understand either. If anything, you'll get the occasional, "he he, to be a starving artist" bullshit which attempts to make light of your dire situation in a sort of bohemian happy-go-lucky way. It's expected of a performer...

 

 

January 29th, 2007

I booked another show at the Rock.... it doesn't have much notice, but I hope the fact that it's on a Friday night will negate the lack of promotional time. Autonomy is a great band right now and people should want to seek us out. I guess we will see how badly they want it...

 

 

January 9th, 2007

The last two shows were hella good. The band played magnificently, and the audience really reacted positively to what we brought before them. What more can one ask? The answer to that is money, which we received a pittance of. Still, well worth it.

Now my eyes are turned to the Triple Rock show, and putting together a big spectacle for that one. Autonomy is in it's prime right now, and I want to exploit that as much as possible. Fortunately, the three of us all enjoy being exploited so it works out.

I have a dog now. His name is Eddie. He's a chihuahua and comes from an abused home. We're trying to get him used to people again and get him to chill out a bit. He's good in the chill department it seems, as he sleeps constantly. It's actually quite remarkable to watch a creature wake up from a dead sleep, go into the living room, and then take a nap without thinking twice. Remarkable...

 

 

December 14th, 2006

We had band practice on Tuesday, and I was terrible. I wasn't feeling well, and in retrospect I should have called the band and cancelled but I went through with it anyway. It picked up at the end and we actually got pretty solid by the end of the rehearsal, but it was all I could do to stay standing. Jendeen played the most amazing drum solo at rehearsal during Tear It All Down that it really energized me and got me back in the game. I'm feeling much better today and I'm ready to get on with my lfie!

Autonomy has much to prepare for. I'm very excited about the prospect of working with this fellow on a new stage show for Autonomy. He seems very capable and excited about putting together something amazing. So far, I've been very impressed with him, his knowledge of the subject, and his enthusiasm. It sounds like we're on the same page so it will be great to reinvent the visual aspect of Autonomy with his help.

We're also preparing for the new album, something I've written about here before. The progress is slow, but the results have been very rewarding. I'd like to get Autonomy up to 2 rehearsals a week in January & February if possible - and I hope it is because we could really really use the extra rehearsal right now.

Also on the 'prepare for' list is a meeting with some industry people that could go very well for us. We're fortunate to have some exposure to people that could help us a great deal, and now we must play a show for them where we will be evaluated. I'm very keen to knock their socks off, and finally get the support and experience behind us that we've deserved for so long.

 

 

November 30th, 2006

It's been crazy busy lately, but I'm enjoying it. I was just promoted at work, so I have some new duties to attend to that have occupied my time a bit. I also moved Autonomy out of our longtime rehearsal space in north Minneapolis. This involved moving a great deal of equipment- both to our new space and to storage in my garage.

I have undertaken the daunting task of sorting, organizing, and filing my entire lyric archive- thousands of pages of poetry and various writings. I've rediscovered a lot of stuff I wrote and never used, much of it quite good and steaming hot with potential. Among my favorites are Ten Past Two- the story of seeing a friend of mine who was once in a terrible accident in the emergency room, and Here I Am, Lord - a rewritten christian hymn with a very edgy message. It was my favorite to play back when I was a church organist so it will be fun to put a new spin on it and play it again with Autonomy's power behind it. These two are two of my favorite poems/lyrics that I've ever written and they're dying to become songs. Also included is Cityside - a song written from the perspective of a homeless person living in a shelter and eating at soup kitchens. I'm building a large 3-ring binder which will contain my most promising poetic prospects which I will then take with me into the writing fray.

Minnesota is getting very cold. Last night the temperature was in the single digits. Tonight I expect the same.

Charles from Stellar Vector wrote to me and asked whether Autonomy would be interesed in being part of a stylistically diverse show with him. Although the band had already decided to focus on writing and stop performing for the year, we all agreed that it would be really fun to play one more this year. So we're doing it, and it seems all three of us are excited to premiere some of the new material we've been writing in the last couple of months.

 

 

November 6th, 2006

Tomorrow is election day, and it couldn't come (and go) fast enough. I'm very sick of all the advertisments and hullabaloo. Minnesota is in a bit of a lose-lose situation for governor, as both the Republican candidate and the Democratic candidate suck. There is an indie candidate, but he has a snowball's chance in hell of getting any votes, sadly.

I just returned from deer hunting this past weekend. It was the easiest year ever. My sister shot a deer (her first!) at sunrise on the first day and my party decided we didn't want any more so we went to the bar for the rest of the time and came home early. If only it could always be that easy!

I'm excited because a friend game me tickets to see B.B. King in concert this week. That should be really cool to check out. I wonder if the old boy has still got 'it'...

 

 

Halloween 2006

We threw a costume party at my house for my favorite holiday- Halloween. We dressed up each of the rooms in my house with a different theme and even turned the flowerbed into a cemetary complete with headstones and a smoke machine (thanks, Keith!). The living room was techno/house music, the laundry room was strobe lights and animatronic skeletons, the basement was the gothic dungeon complete with scary music videos and such, and the garage was the smoking room which we decorated with black lights, spiderwebs, and glow-in-the-dark stuff.

This year for Halloween I went as the devil. It's a rather standard/tame costume choice, I know- but I'd never done it before and wanted to give it a try. I'd give my effort a 7 out of 10 stars, since I didn't go for full face coverage with the red paint, and because I couldn't find the huge devil horns I was looking for. Instead, I had small little spike horns in my forhead... Also, my fangs wouldn't stay in properly so I ended up abandoning them completely.

Friends of ours, Raven and Ali, decided to have a party on the same day we did- so we planned a little Halloween trick to be played on them. At one point in the evening, when everyone was sufficiently lit up enough, we armed our costumed guests with silly string cannisters and loaded up in vehicles. We then drove about a mile to their place, piled-out of the vehicles, and raided their party. We sprayed everyone we could and then quickly escaped before they knew what hit them. It was glorious.

Many of our friends came and made it a great time, and thanks to everyone who came! I'm going to put some photos up at some point, so keep checking-in.

 

 

Monday September 11th, 2006

Well, it's the anniversary of the attack on the World Trade Center in NYC... The news stations have certainly remembered this, and it's all over the radio. I think that's important (remembering, that is), because that event was this generation's Pearl Harbor.

This date always reminds me of when Autonomy formed. The first Autonomy 'gig' was a 9/11 benefit concert at the now-extinct MARS music store. It was just Rockula and I performing together, and we did pretty well. People told me we were like the White Stripes, except we had a better drummer and it was a bass instead of a guitar. To me, that meant we were NOTHING like them, but whatver. haha

We're going to keep working on the new songs and try them again at this next show. We've backed-off on our performance schedule and now are doing only a show or two a month while we write the new album. We can't stop completely because the whole point of Autonomy is to be a do-it-yourself band that lets the fans in on everything. We want to grow up in front of an audience, and take them on a journey. It's a big part of what sets us apart from the other bands, I think.

 

 

Wednesday August 23rd, 2006

After months of repairs, setbacks, adverse weather, and various other obstacles- I've finally completed re-roofing my house. It is such a relief to have it done at last. I can't even put into words how happy I am to be done with that horrible job. Hats off to all those who do roofing for a living- I'm truly impressed by what badasses you are. It kicked my ass every time I did it.

Projects like this really show you who your friends are. Nobody wants to get on a roof in the hot sun, but I had a lot of friends who stepped up and helped me out and I'll never forget it. Needless to say I've got a few friends who have favors they can pull from me in the future! My friend Keith did an awful lot, and even lent me his nailgun which was a LIFESAVER- so even when he wasn't around helping me, he was. My friend Brian put in lots of time as well, and was so selfless about it- sometimes even working up there when I had to go into work. My nephew Ryan took time off from work and drove all the way from Willmar to help me, and my friend Torrey was also there to help us strip the old roof off. Kim and Poppy were our ground support and cooked food for us, made beer runs (one time even all the way to Wisconsin!) and did what they could to help make sure the troops up on the roof had what they needed. What good friends and cool people they all are. When others were making excuses or avoiding me, these people made time for me and went out of their way to help. It's just awesome.

Much of the last part of the job had to be done by me alone, so even with help it was a daunting task. There were sections of broken boards on the roof that had to be replaced- an unexpected setback. Fortunately I survived it and even got in better shape in the process. It was rewarding, but I don't know that I'd do it again!

Anyway, as part of my reward for finishing the job I am buying myself a banana split. Not just any banana split, but one of those ridiculously big and goudy ones. I want to feel guilty for having it. I want the orbit of the earth to shift slightly when they put it on the table in front of me. Dammit, I want a cherry on top too. It will be glorious. So now I'm scouring the earth (or the Twin Cities, really) to find the ultimate banana split so I can go buy one. This is a decision I'm making very carefully, because I haven't had one of these things since I was a child... very important decision, you know... ;)

 

 

Monday August 21st, 2006

Our big show, "The Future of MN Music" went over well on Friday. It was a success and a lot of people turned up to cheer everyone on. It was very inspiring, and just the break Autonomy needed to get our stride back.

We debuted two new songs at the show, the first of which was called 'Reiterate' - a song I've been working on since I lived in Dallas, TX years at the end of the millenium. It was great to see that song finally performed live for the first time and to such an enthusiastic response from the crowd. That song has been such a pet project of mine for so long, and it's weird to see it finally realized after all of this time. It was important to do justice to the song, as I knew it was great when I was writing it. I didn't want to write a half-assed arrangement of it just for the sake of using it. I wanted to wait until the right players were in place in a band I knew was capable of tackling such a difficult piece.

The second new song didn't come off as well. I think it has great potential, however we didn't realize it at the show and a number of mistakes were made. We haven't named it yet, so when I asked the group what we should write down on the set list, Billy blurted out 'Ninja' - so that's been it's working title. (probably the stupidest name for a song we've ever heard... it's become an inside joke with the band) The words aren't yet perfected and we missed a lot of changes when we played it live. Like Reiterate, it shows a different side of our sound and gives a glimpse as to what the future of Autonomy might sound like- we just don't know it well enough yet. Clearly it's not baked, and needs to go back into the oven for a while.

Lots of friends came to the show to make it a very special night for me personally. It was a great show of support from many of the people who matter to me. Also in attendance were droves of people who are 'fans' of the band whom I've seen before but do not know personally. It was really encouraging to see these people coming back and showing their love for our little Minneapolis trio.

 

 

Wednesday August 16th, 2006

I'm preparing to have my first garage sale (well, a yard sale really - my garage isn't very big). I have so much stuff I'd like to get rid of and it seems like the perfect opportunity. There is much to do, but I don't think the pressure is that great considering it's really up to us how difficult we want to make it.

Band practice went ok last night. We worked on the new material mostly, which we intend to debut at the big Cabooze show on Friday. It's not 'there' yet but it's very very close. We are going to squeeze one more rehearsal in before the show and then hope for the best. I think this will be one of our biggest shows to date, so it's important that we dominate.

Working with B! has proven difficult so far. They aren't easy to reach, and when they do take the time to send me a MySpace message it is usually a sentence or two. I've never seen a band treat gigs so casually - especially an extrordinary one like this! It blows my doors off... I hope they step up and pull their weight for this show, which I'm sure they will. They always draw nice crowds and seem to care about their fans. Maybe I can learn something! :)

 

 

Tuesday August 15th, 2006

My dear friend Kim, wife of my best friend Keith, is in the hospital right now and it's got us all worried. Apparently she is having trouble with her lungs, and there are clots in them. It's a very dangerous thing and she will need to be monitored in the hospital for quite some time as they try to dissolve the clots without dislodging them into her bloodstream. Poppy and I would like to be able to visit her, but we haven't had a moment to steal away and make the drive. Not to mention, my work schedule is such that I have no time during the day - ever. So I guess we'll just have to settle for calling her and sending positive energy that way. It's kinda a helpless feeling when a friend goes through something like this... you want to be able to help but it's hard to know what one can do.

 

 

Monday August 14th, 2006

I love my wife. Poppy is so good to me and it's really great to be married to someone you truly enjoy spending time with. We've had hard times (financially) lately and it's good to be weathering the storm with her. I think it makes us stronger to go through these things... It's been a challenging summer but we're getting better at taking care of one another, which feels great.

 

 

Monday July 3rd, 2006

The Summer Band Slam finals were pretty successful... lots of people. We didn't win it, but we sure got to play to a lot of people and earned some more fans which is always a good thing... I had high hopes we would win it, but I'm beginning to realize that perhaps these sorts of events aren't really out style. The bands that tend to do well in these competitions are the ones who appeal more to the less experienced listener. Autonomy has always been a favorite of people who want more from their music than the traditional bark-scream-chugga-bark bands can offer, and 18 year old boys usually can't relate well to what we do because it sounds unlike what they are used to. So while it was disappointing, and a tough loss to take, I am glad we played the show and were a part of it.

My sister's wedding was that day, and it was delightful. I wish I hadn't left it prematurely to make this gig, but it was good to give Autonomy the exposure. I'm fortunate that Katey is so understanding and loving... she encouraged me to take the gig and do our best - which we did.

These shows are nice for raising awareness about local bands who are good, but I sometimes wonder what effect they have on unity within the scene. Making the bands compete against each other is, in some ways, a little counterproductive to scenebuilding efforts. It probably doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things, because bands rarely work together in this town anyway. There is a lot of competitive spirit here, and bands do not understand the value in supporting one another towards a common goal. We've been talking to a few bands who are itnerested in forming some sort of guild or alliance to help promote one another. I think it's a great idea, and long overdue in Minneapolis.

 

 

Friday June 9th, 2006

We won! Round 4 of the Summer Band Slam went well and we came out on top, winning the night. We now have the opportunity to advance to the finals and play the big show. It turns out we have some scheduling conflicts for that day (July 1st), not the least of which is my sister's wedding! So I might be dashing from the wedding to the gig and back to the wedding that night. Jendeen has a gig that night too, so scheduling this one is going to be a challenge to say the least. But what's important is we won it and we really needed a moral booster to put the fire back in our bellies. I am so proud of this band, and it's an honor to play with such great musicians and true friends.

One of the bands last night was called Ponofo, and I spoke with them a bit about doing shows together. They are quite good. We had a good time hearing everyone last night and they were all really gracious and pleasent people.

I'm glad we had such a good show of support last night. I was a littel concerned about who would be there, but lots of our friends and fans made it out to Maplewood. It's heartwarming to say the least.

 

 

Thursday June 8th, 2006

Tonight we play in the Summer Band Slam, and I've already got the jitters. It's unusual for me, as I rarely get nervous before a performance. Rehearsal went well so I'm certainly confident about what we will bring to the stage- it's just the question of whether we can draw enough votes from the audience. I've invited just about everyone I can think of and I hope they all turn up to support me and Autonomy.

 

 

Thursday May 18th, 2006

I've had time to absorb that Tool show. It was AWESOME of course. That band usually humbles me, but this time I just found it inspiring and I just found myself eager to get back to work on Autonomy. Tool's new material really shines in a live setting, and I think when the return on their stadium tour it will be really powerful.

So Autonomy is on my mind right now.... well, that and my lawn. But I'll talk about Autonomy because it's far more interesting. We've got some great opportunities coming up, and I'm going to make the most of them. First we play as part of a big Minneapolis lineup over in Eau Claire, then we compete in the Summer Band Slam, and then we play a huge show as part of a great ElectroTank lineup. If we work hard on these shows, get good draws, and play our hearts out- it will be really good for moving Autonomy forward.

Moving forward is needed at this point. We've got great songs, we've got talented musicians, we're all friends and we love what we do. So this is the time to make it happen and really show the world what we can do.

I really wish I had more money these days. My job gave me a very small raise despite a year of stellar performance for them. The band has had financial problems lately and it's become a real challenge keeping things afloat. Our landlord wants rent, our gear needs fixing, and we need to buy more T-shirts to sell. What's worse, bars are more and more getting into the idea that bands are slaves they do not need to pay very much. Hell, we were stiffed completely at the last show we did for TruTalent- that was a real drag. Being a band with money problems is one thing, but doing shows and making zero is another. It's very stressful and sometimes I hate the way money (or the lack of it) can be such an irritant. I hate the business.

My biggest issue these days is my bass. Money I thought I'd have by now never materialized, and so it remains unfixed and I have to play it anyway. My backup bass has an electrical short in it, so that needs work before I can use it too. It all costs money and I just don't know where it's going to come from.

 

 

Friday May 12th, 2006

Tonight I am going to see Tool with Billy. He managed, somehow, to score tickets for this once-in-a-lifetime concert and I am going to owe him BIG TIME for this one. I love Tool, and seeing them perform is spiritual. It's at once inspiring and humbling. I am so thrilled to see this show I can't put it into words!

I've seen Tool many, many times. They are my favorite band. In no respect am I a newbie to their concert experience. This, however, is a completely new experience for everyone that will be there. This is Tool in the ORPHEUM THEATRE. Wow. This is a relatively tiny place with excellent views, incredible accoustics, and beautiful interior vistas. Tool in this setting will be absolutely unforgettable.

One of the things I've always appreciated about Tool, is how their shows take the focus off of the musicians themselves and instead focus on the art they are creating. A favorite artist of mine, H. R. Giger, operates in much the same way. He says he prefers to have the focus be on what he has created, not on him personally. He despises idolization and hero worship, and prefers to have his art speak for itself. Tool's music always speaks well for itself, and goes beyond that to encompass much more in concert. I think having the Orpheum Theatre as a backdrop will add to this effect and really make for a fantastic experience.

So, tons of thanks and appreciation goes out to Billy for landing these tix. We're going to have a great time tonight!

 

 

Thursday May 11th, 2006

Tuesday's rehearsal went well, but it made me keenly aware of the areas in which we need to work if we would like to develop and improve. For instance, we are working on this new song... the idea of the song is quite good, and the execution of it is technically very difficult. It's a challenge we've needed for some time. The band members are all stepping up very well and working hard to get their parts down, but I sense we are all trying to fit too much into our own parts. The band still isn't listening to one another the way we should- especially in writing. We tend to focus on ourselves and it ends up being 3 people playing solos.

The challenges don't end there either. I need to write lyrics for this song, and my goal was to get the band to address what the subject matter should be. When I breached the subject, there was a lot of head-scratching... It is very important to me to hammer home the concept that we must begin investing ourselves personally into what we are creating. This next album has to be a group statement.

Which brings me to my next point. I think the theme of the next album is slowly coming into focus for me. A series of meditations, dreams, and visions have led me down a certain path where the creative goal of the next album is concerned. I think it will be a heavily Minneapolis-themed album, but not just in a superficial way. More on this later!

 

 

Thursday May 4th, 2006

The show went quite well, good turnout for a Tuesday. We played very hard, but we were impeded by a technical problem with the snare mic which made us pause our set 3 songs into our momentum. It was a drag, because we had the crowd and then the break caused us to lose them a bit. It was hard re-establishing our dominance after that, but we pulled together and did it anyway. Very solid set. My vocals could have been, and have been, better.

 

 

Tuesday May 2nd, 2006

Tonight, we're playing one of those shows that makes me happy I'm in the band I'm in. Don't get me wrong, the lineup is great... the bands we are playing with are all great, with the possible exception of one which I haven't heard. It's just the drill of a local, all-original band, that can be a drag. It's a Tuesday night. We go on at midnight. We've promoted as hard as we can, but it's just hard to get people to go out late for a midweek show.

The great part, the part that makes me so happy, is this band I'm in doesn't even flinch over such things. We don't complain about it, or cry about how we're not appreciated as much as we should be. This band just promotes the show, arrives on time, supports the other bands, and then delivers a crushing performance no matter how many people are there. It's a work ethic we all share. We take whatever opportunities we can get to turn people on to the wonderful music of Autonomy. At the end of the day, people can say whatever they want about us EXCEPT that we don't put our hearts and our souls into our work.

I don't know what to expect tonight. It sounds like a bunch of friends are coming to the show, but I don't know about the general public... they are harder to predict than my friends. I know that regardless of the turnout, Autonomy will stomp that stage into submission from the opening chord to the final cymbal hit. Those who offer themselves up to the music tonight will be held as willing captives of what we intend to deliver.

It recently dawned on me that Autonomy is coming upon it's 5th anniversary this summer. There are a lot of memories already, and we're forming new ones all the time. I feel called upon to do justice to this band's ever-increasing legacy with each performance, and I have no intention of stopping. I am thinking a party might be in order though, and 5 is a nice round number - so why not? I'll have to mull that over...

So... 5 years... I was reorganizing our website's event page and going through the history of the band... thinking of all the things we've done and have been through. I remembered Billy's first show and I think about how much he's grown as a musician, a friend, and a person. I recall all the good times I had with Rockula, and the various goofy videos we used to riff on with each other... our old rehearsal space, called 'the dungeon'. I remember the first time we played with All the Pretty Horses, and how much I idolized Jendeen's playing... and how she came to join Autonomy with her talent and marvelous personality. I think of the time we spent recording with Marko at Back Alley, and reflect upon what a great friend he has become. I remember trouncing around town with Poppy and the band to do photo shoots, and getting looks from lots of people all the while. Not to menion all of our other friends who were with us for all or most of the way- like Odin and Kristina. I remember Brian putting together dozens of individual stringers of christmas lights that were all one color, sifting through bulbs and organizing the whole thing into a light show at the Urban Wildlife. Or silly things like Keith and I assembling and painting props for the band in the parking lot of The Rock in Maplewood. I know this all is a little cheesy and I'm not one to reminisce, but I must say that the way Autonomy brings people together is really an unexpected plus that I hadn't anticipated when I started out. Sometimes it's the music, but sometimes it's just a good excuse for friends to hang out and have fun.

Well, I need to go get ready for tonight...

 

 

Tuesday April 25th, 2006

We've returned home from our tour. It was a really great time and a good test of our plan for how an independent band can hit the road without SPENDING money. (The goal is actually to MAKE money!) One of the shows was virtually devoid of patrons, which was a lesson to us as well. The middle show, in Green Bay, made up for it in spades - as it was quite a good turnout and an even better peformance. Gas prices make tours such as these a real challenge in terms of planning, but I think I'll be better prepared for doing the next one.

The band performed very well, and everyone traveled well together. We shared the workload, expenses, and driving which helps a lot. We weren't ready to rip each other's heads off by the end of it either, which was quite an accomplishment. We were able to adjust the set as we went along and the fine-tuning really paid off. We brought to Wisconsin a finely-tuned musical machine which the fans could not deny. Even the show that had a poor turnout ended up being a success - we sold a CD to every person who was there.

I will definitely make changes for the next time we tour, most involving promotion and lodging. We need to keep expenses way down and make sure gigs are well-promoted. There is no reason why a band that blows audiences away like Autonomy does should be kept a secret. One club didn't even put up the posters we had sent to them until we arrived at the gig to load in. That spoke volumes to me about the seriousness of their commitment to live music. Still, I had to accept the responsibility for booking that show and it doesn't seem as though the band holds it against me. I think they understand that I'm still learning, and that these are lessons one must learn the hard way.

My bass took a tremendous beating on this tour. My case is broken horribly. The pickups were smashed down into the body twice. The bass itself hit the floor on more than one occasion, the straplocks broke, and the headstock hit a hanging monitor. Miraculously, the instrument didn't break or suffer even the slightest dent or scratch. I am very lucky. I will reward her with a trip to the luthier where she will be properly restored, polished, and given a fret job.

Autonomy broke the personal-best record for autographs. We signed poster after poster, CD after CD. It felt good to know that the posters I'd designed were being saved by people. The soundman at our LaCrosse show brought an old poster from a show Autonomy did at the 324 club to show us. He had saved it all this time and displayed it on his wall. He kept a new one so now he has a collection! In Green Bay, they still were displaying our poster from the last visit. They had kept it and were displaying it all this time.

My bandmates are what really made this tour satisfying for me. Their company was an absolute delight, and it was great to rekindle the greatness of our stage chemistry night after night. We've gotten very good at listening and reacting to one another, and the music exudes a certain magic when we find that connection between us. Billy recited his guitar lines with precision each time, and was a very reliable presence in the band. We knew that whatever he did would be hot, and we've almost come to expect it of him. He continues to deliver professional stuff each time we play, and his upbeat attitude really keeps me in a positive mindset. Jendeen's performance was inspired. I remember one point in which her drum solo was drawing people to us from across a nearly empty club. I just remember thinking "keep it going!" as the people filed in to see this amazing drummer do her thing. They both make me play better, and perform at a higher level. In Appleton, we completely outclassed that place with a performance that was unapologetic and unstoppable. Few people saw that show, but there was no doubt who king shit of fuck mountain was that night. Autonomy not only blew away the other band, but we made a nearly empty club seem too small to hold us.

 

 

Wednesday March 22nd, 2006

Our St. Patrick's Day show was totally poppin' baby. It was absolutely a success and the bands all played really hard. That stage was a real challenge, but we made the best of it and completely brought the place to it's knees. We're approaching our stuff with a newfound confidence, because after being away from the material so long and then coming back with such power - we feel unstoppable.

Jendeen has brought up the idea of integrating more of her electronics into our music, and I'm all for it. I think we might find time to sit down and work some stuff out, play with sounds, and just try seeing where things fit. Who knows, maybe we will write something new with this newfound instrumentation.

We talked a lot about the future of the band at the last rehearsal. Obviously it was tempting to sit and reminisce about the great show we just had, but we tried to stay focused on what was next. We'd like to line up more local gigs, continue to build upon our momentum, and take road stints where we can this summer. If we can write in the meantime and record a 3 song demo this summer that would be perfect. We have a long term goal of recording a full length album this fall or winter. It would be great to get some new recorded material which represents the current lineup of Autonomy, because the only studio recordings we have now are with Rockula. The songs have obviously grown and matured since those days and we all agree it would be beneficial to have new recordings which better represent us. I'm not trying to take anything away from the album, because I love it and am very proud of it, but that album was a snapshot in time and we've changed and improved since then.

 

 

Wedensday March 15th, 2006

Tuesday night's rehearsal went MUCH better than Monday's. I actually believe we're ready for this show now, which is as much of a relief as it is energizing. I'm very excited to bring this show to an audience and the music will speak for itself, as it usually does, with a great many decibels. Jendeen was a bit down on herself for being a little rusty, but her being rusty just makes her closer to equal with the better drummers this town has to offer. I thought she played great, and I have no doubts about it after last night. We ran through the entire set twice, picking it apart the first time, and then just timing it the second time. The decision was made to keep the set pretty compact, and just arrange to do an encore song if one is called for...

I did a set-up on my bass, which was much needed. I had to fix the intonation, which was so far out it was embarassing. I put new strings on it, cleaned it up, and it plays much better now. I still need to find a good luthier to give me new frets on it. That will probably cost me around $300, and I have no idea where I'll come up with it but I'll try to figure something out.

Reports are that lots of people are coming to the show. It sounds like we will pack this place, which would be great. Now my goal is to find someone with a video camera who can record it for us. It would be nice to have a record of this show.

 

 

Tuesday March 14th, 2006

We had our first rehearsal with Jendeen since she came back... last night. It was really rough around the edges, but we're having another rehearsal tonight before the show so I hope to clean up the set the rest of the way tonight. I was really rusty, forgetting lines and it took me a bit to go back over it all and get it fresh in my head again. Sort of embarassing, really. I've been concentrating too much on the business end of things, and on writing new material that I've neglected the stuff we're doing for this show- and now I've got 4 days to get myself ready for this performance. The pressure is on!

 

 

Thursday March 9th, 2006

Kirby Puckett, a childhood hero of mine, passed away this week. It's been sad in Minnesota lately because of it, and it's such a shame to have him pass on so early in his life. Apparently he had a stroke... The impact he had on my life is lasting and I won't ever forget watching him play the great game.

 

 

Tuesday February 14th, 2006

It's Valentines Day, and I think Poppy and I should have a real nice time tonight. For starters, I left a trail of chocolates for her to her car in the garage, where I had fake flowers under the wiper blade with a card. Yeah, it's an inside joke, but I'll explain... Back before we were dating, and I had a crush on her, I left flowers for her under he windshield wiper. It was a sweet sentiment, but I messed up. You see, I forgot to take into account that it was the middle of winter and the flowers all froze and were ruined by the time she discovered them. When she got them home and opened them up, they were a melted mess. It was funny, I was an idiot, but I like to think I endeared myself to her with that bungled attempt at romanticism.

The fake flowers under the windshield weren't all that romantic, but I hope she found it funny at least. I had real ones delivered to her at work later in the day. Those won't be frozen, I've been assured.

My other romantic attempt today was also rooted in humor. We had watched a Saturday Night Live episode in which they did a fake commercial much like the diamond commercials you see on television. They usually say something like "give her the gift that tells her how much you really appreciate her" and then go to a shot of a happy woman receiving some big diamond thing.... except in the case of this SNL bit, the joke was more like "give her the only gift that can truly show your undying love for her... a bear holding a heart." with one of those stupid little stuffed bears holding a heart that you see at every Walgreens or convenience store in the world. It's hard to do justice to it, but we both found it really funny because it's such a lame gift. Well, I got her one and left it on our kitchen table for her to discover when she gets home.

Tonight we are going to dinner together at a nice restaurant. I think the plan is to have lobster, because both of us have been craving it and haven't had it in ages. I found a place in Uptown that serves fresh lobster so we're going to check it out. It sounds marvelous. I'll try to leave my lame sense of humor out of this final part of Valentine's Day..

 

 

Wednesday February 1st, 2006

I can't think of what to do for Valentines Day. I've been racking my brain and I just found out that a couple of my best ideas are no longer options. So I have to start over. hmm....

Autonomy is on break these days and it's been great. I've gone ice fishing, relaxed a bit, caught up on this thing called 'television', and have spent some quality time with Poppy. The band bought a new sampler so I've been learning how to use it and trying to decide how to best implement it into our music. It should be really fun.

The last show at the 7th St. Entry was great. The place was packed with people and it was a great way to follow up the previous show at the Uptown Bar. The response to our new song as very positive, and that made me feel a lot better about where I want to go from a writing standpoint. Where the last album was lyrically very meandering and emotionally confused overall, I want this next album to be concise and direct... to have a mission. I have a lot of things I want to say with the next Autonomy album, and I can't wait to say them. Billy and I are using this downtime from shows to do a lot of behind-the-scenes tweaks to the band. I can't wait to see what people think of us when we return to stage!

 

 

Tuesday January 17th, 2006

I had a squirrel trapped in my chimney. No, that's not a metaphor. There was actually a squirrel who'd either fallen into the chimney and got stuck in my fireplace behind the glass, or he decided to make a nest inside of it. It took us forever to get him out of there, as he was very scared and very ash-covered. Anyway, the little guy is out and he can go live somewhere else.

Autonomy is preparing for what is to be our last show for quite a while. We will be taking about 2 months off to write and push our demo and album on different record labels, concert promoters, vendors, agents, etc. The goal is to take some time off from performing to focus on this stuff for a bit and hopefully make some headway towards getting us better shows and bigger exposure. It is the business end of the band that we've been neglecting, and it needs to be addressed if we're going to get anywhere.

I'm also going to use this time to do some writing on my own. I have lots of material in the oven, but most of it is still not ready to serve. I want to shore up some songs and flesh out some ideas while generating new songs. Jendeen gave me a great idea for a song today that I think I might use (steal). I have her permission, so I'm going for it!

 

Thursday January 12th, 2006

It's sad to say, but All the Pretty Horses last show is at hand and it is this Friday night. You really owe it to yourself and this amazing band to be there at the Triple Rock so I hope everyone can make it.

I've been a fan of ATPH for a very long time, and I've said over and over again that they are my favorite local band. They brought great music to this town for many years, and showed the rest of us how to make it a SHOW - something lost on many local musicians. It's really hard to see them go, but I know that everyone involved in this band has tremendous talent and ambition which will surely be made manifest in whatever new projects they engage themselves in.

When I first saw ATPH the first thing that stuck out in my mind was the presentation. They looked great, played hard, and were so unique. I quickly adopted Venus as a bit of a performance role model because I admired the style and confidence she emitted onstage. She was a really positive influence on my own music, and for developing my own stage presence. This band was impossible to look away from - it was genius. I was fascinated with the way they kept engaging their audience, hoping to pick up some tricks for my own band. I'm still no Venus, but I've come a long way...

As the music seeped into my brain around all of the glitter and bedazzlement, I was delighted to discover that the songs held up on their own. It was good material, and it addressed very honest issues in a really artistic way. I was hooked immediately.

It also didn't hurt that they had one of the best drummers I've ever seen! I have always been a fan of drummers, but this one was so precise and thrilling to watch. Little did I know what good friends Jendeen and I would become! In time, I even had the pleasure of jamming with the Horses when I was asked to cover a couple of shows during their bassist auditions. It was an experience I will never forget. It was so fun to play with them, but I quickly realized that on a stagemanship level I was a bit out of my league. They were so good... so over-the-top... My shit felt tired compared to that!

So I wish my friends in All the Pretty Horses an awesome show and all the success in the future. I will be there to see your magic one last time, and maybe learn a few more things. You are loved by so many, and what you've done for Minnesota rock will not be soon forgotten.

 

 

Tuesday January 3rd, 2006

Gotta remember to hit that "6"... it's 2006 now... '06.... hit the six, dude... I know you're instinct is to hit the "5", but forget about that- it's the past. We're in 2006 now...

Christmas was great. I had a marvelous time with Poppy, the family, and just chilling out a bit. It's really cool to have another holiday season behind me, but it was cool while it lasted.

Autonomy's fan appreciation concert went really well, and it was nice to play to a good audience. We recorded it too, which is a plus. Usually when we record, we're sure to not get a crowd. I don't know why... at least this time that wasn't the case because we packed 'em in.

2005 was a real success from my perspective... My biggest goal was to get the band back on track after losing Rockula and make sure we didn't 'jump the shark', so to speak. I really had something to prove this year, and that was to show that Autonomy could not just survive without Rockula, but grow and get better. I don't mean to take anything away from him because he's an important part of our past and a good player, but we needed want to die on the vine after he left us. He hasn't spoken to me recently, but I really believe that if he saw us now he would be impressed and proud of what we've accomplished- and that makes me feel good. Aside of the resurrection, we've also grown into a really cohesive band that plays really well together. The band has put together several new songs that are really hot, and we're getting much better at writing with one another. Jendeen has stepped up and filled a pretty big pair of shoes in this band, and she's started making the material her own which is awesome to be witness to. Billy's new chops and ever expanding influences have blown the ceiling off of what we could previously do on a musical level.

Here's to 2006...

 

 

Thursday December 8th, 2005

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Joy to the world... and stuff.

Our show at Star Central was fantastic. A good audience and we definitely played one hell of a set. We're starting to really find ourselves on stage and it's beginning to look like the band I want us to be - which is really exciting. Billy played very solid despite some technical difficulties (he kicked his cord out of his processor at one point, but recovered from it real well). Jendeen has always been a great player, but she's been working on playing less notes and focusing on the groove more. I'm happy to say she did a knockout job of that at the last show and I was thrilled to hear the difference it made. As for myself, I've been wanting to deliver a more consistant performance vocally while also improving my image on stage and I think I made some good steps in that direction at the last show. My vocals were really solid and I was prepared. I dressed up more than usual and it just felt better up there to be in a suit. I don't know why, but I feel most comfortable when I'm in a suit. It's odd, I know, but I've never claimed to be normal.

Another exciting thing is now we're doing something we've never done- a fan appreciation concert. We are never sure how to show the fans of Autonomy how much we need and love them, and this idea sort of fell in our lap. It is a fantastic thing, and everyone will get in free to The Uptown Bar and Cafe.

 

Monday November 28th, 2005

It must be nice to be a meteorologist... It's the only job I can think of where you are paid to make guesses, and continue to be paid when you are consistantly wrong. It's quite remarkable.

Today it was supposed to be cold and snowing. Instead, it's rather warm and raining.

I've had a crappy day, so I can't wait for it to be over. Things just aren't going right. I won't waste space bitching about the series of unfortuante events that, while individually amount to very little, ultimately ruined my day. Suffice it to say this is one Monday that has lived up to it's name.

Our show in St. Cloud did not go very well. The sets ran long so ours ended up being cut rather short. I wasn't as bothered by that as I was the lack of audience. It really irritated me that the other bands on the lineup did not pull their weight with promotion. I love their music so much that it pains me to see them make so little effort at promoting themselves (and the show itself). They didn't even list the event on their websites, which I felt was a bit insulting. At any rate, the collective effort wasn't what I wanted to show to a club that was entrusting us with our first headlining show on a Friday night. The upside is that the people who did manage to see the show were treated to great performances by all involved. Musically it was one of my favorite lineups to date and I thought everyone sounded great together.

In contrast, the show at the Rock was a great time. We played great, and the middle slot afforded us a nice audience who was really receptive to everything we threw at them. We truly crushed the crowd with a rather ambitious and unique set list - so that felt really redeeming. I hope we can follow that success with an even better show at Star Central this coming Saturday.

 

Friday November 18th, 2005

I'm really really excited about tonight's show in St. Cloud. This is our second time playing this club, and our first time headlining a show in St. Cloud. It's got to be GREAT. I handpicked this lineup and I'm totally confident that we will kill the audience tonight. I have the utmost respect for both of the bands we're working with, Iced Ink, and In The Morning so I know that musically it will be astounding. Whether we get the draw I want to get remains to me seen, but I hope we do. It's a good night and I certainly did a lot of work to get the word out about this one. This late in the game, all that is left to do is hope for the best and see where the evening takes me.

 

Friday November 11th, 2005

We played Somerset, WI last night and it was less than spectacular. Don't get me wrong, both bands (us and Profuse) were great and played magnificently- but the sound system in that place really sucked. The speakers were blown and the sound guy didn't really seem to know what he was doing. Everyone on the staff was really nice to us, but the crowd wasn't interested in seeing original music. Both bands had a hard time soliciting a crowd response that night. People seemed more interested in hearing covers, and having conversations. I only saw a small group of people that even noticed there was a band playing. Considering how bad the speakers were blown, I don't blame them.

Poppy has been ill this week, so I've been worried about her. It appears she has a nasty virus of some kind. She wasn't able to make the show last night for that reason, and I felt kinda bad that I couldn't stay home to take care of her. Today she appears to be on the upswing, so hopefully she will have shaken this thing by the weekend.

Considering the lack of rehearsal time Autonomy has had lately, I was relieved that we did so well. The band was really tight, and we hit our material with near perfection. No apologies there...

 

Monday November 7th, 2005

I went deer hunting last weekend with my brother Mark and my sister Katey. I shot a 7 point buck (he had one broken tip, or he woulda been an 8 pointer...) who was a nice size and in real good shape. It was good to get one this year, because I've been skunked for the last two hunting seasons. We did a fair amount of drinking and partying over the weekend which was really fun. It's good to be back at work and to my normal life now though.

I'm trying to get a rehearsal in this week with the band before we play our next show on Thursday. It's Somerset and we've never been there before, so there's a certain pressure we put on ourselves to deliver the goods... be impressive... Unfortunately, we've gone so long without a rehearsal that I hope we can get our show tight on such short notice.

 

Wednesday November 2nd, 2005

Last weekend Poppy and I threw a Halloween party at our house. It was a really good turnout and we had a great time. We had stuff going on all over the house and even a real good firepit scene outside.... probably the last of the ourdoor fires for the year. We drained a couple bottles of Jagermeister, and many coolers worth of beer. What a great time. I think Hans and I closed out the evening at about 6am before giving up and crashing.

Autonomy has been moving slowly these days. Jendeen has hurt her wrist and we're trying to give her time to heal. She also had a big gig at CBGBs on Halloween with All the Pretty Horses, so it's good she was able to have that opportunity. Billy has been busy with school and his other projects. I'm going hunting this weekend but I think we will get back into the swing of things next week to prepare for our next batch of upcoming gigs.

More and more I'm feeling the need to find a 4th musician for Autonomy. I don't know what instrument to go for, but I'm leaning toward keyboards. If we can find a good player with the right attitude to do something big, it would really add another dimension to an already great core.

 

Monday October 10th, 2005

This weekend I had a surprise birthday party... I didn't even see it coming and was so shocked I wasn't sure how to react. I'd never had one before and it was really cool, I must say. Lots of my friends were there to surprise me... When I got home from running errands they were all hiding in the kitchen. I walked in and all of a sudden there they were!

It turned into a big party and it was a lot of fun. We had a bonfire and drank a considerable amount of beer. I concentrated on the Crown Royal and Shiner Bock beer. To make a long story short, I went to sleep a very happy boy that night.

 

Monday October 3rd, 2005

Tomorrow is my birthday, so that's cool. I don't think I'll be doing anything real special for it- probably just relaxing at home. If my job had it their way, they'd have me working on it but I refuse to do so. I gotta have a little time to myself or I'll go crazy. That would be very bad, especially considering I'm not the kind that would go crazy in a peaceful way. Rather than being the kind of crazy person that hugs myself while sitting in the corner rocking back and forth singing nursery rhymes, I'd be the guy that went postal in Wal-Mart with an uzi... while singing nursery rhymes.

Fortunately that hasn't come to pass and I'm in decent mental health... Physically I'm kinda tired due to a weekend of hauling gear, performing, travelling, and chopping wood with a 10 lb axe. Isnt' that hot?!? I'm such a fuckin' lumberjack...

Now Autonomy must get back into rehearsal mode, and get back to working on the new material. I've got so much new material to present and work up with the band, and not enough hours in the week to do it.

 

Friday September 30th, 2005

I can't wait to play the outdoor festival ("Trackfest" in Braham, MN) tomorrow. Autonomy has been so hot lately on stage and I can't get enough of it. I really want to let loose on this one since it's probably going to be our last chance to play outside this year. To say I am 'stoked' is an understatement.

I'm negotiating a possible Halloween show this year. We have been offered a couple of things but I'm not sure what will come of them. I'd really like to do something with All the Pretty Horses and maybe Stellar Vector for a show around Halloween.

 

Monday September 26th, 2005

What a weekend! After the Battle of the Bands we were all about preparing for the show we had in Green Bay. Fortunately getting things ready for the battle meant we were still really tight and well rehearsed. The show went off beautifully, and the place was completely packed! We played a great set and had a really fun time out there in Wisconsin. We even sold some merch, which helped to negate the cost of gas which was ridiculous.

As for the Battle of the Bands itself, we lost to 3 Pill Morning. They played a good set though and had a real nice crowd. Nice guys... Unfortunately we drew the latest slot of that Thursday night so we were unable to get as big an audience as we would have had we played earlier. I also learned that there are a lot of fairweather friends who just tend to disappear when you need them. It really gave me a renewed appreciation for the friends that DID actually come to the show. But that aside, I am totally proud of Autonomy and what we did on that stage. We killed the audience there and impressed the hell out of the judges. Our performance was stellar and we left the stage knowing nobody could touch us musically.

I am really happy with both of these shows because they've shown me that Autonomy has now completely reconstructed and is whole again.

 

Thursday September 15th, 2005

It's been a long few weeks for the band. I've been busy just about every night with multiple things to do. It has all been in preparation for tonight's show. It is the rcck battle in Maplewood, and I'm happy to say we're very well-prepared. We've put together a really tight, compact set that showcases our best elements:

Scars

Don't Preach

Ignite

Ophelia

We Have It All

Music

Tear it All Down

 

Friday August 26th, 2005

Autonomy has been chosen to compete in the Battle of the Bands being held at The Rock in Maplewood, MN. I'm excited about this, but not for the reasons that most people would be. I don't really care that much about winning it, I am into the idea of playing to other band's audiences and showing them what we can do. This is a great chance for bands to network, even though we're supposed to be pitted against each other. Plus, Autonomy is so much better now compared to the last time we played in a contest like this- we're going to blow 'em away.

The hard part will be chosing which material to use, as I'm sure we will be given a short set. I think the song Music is a must, because the message is perfect for the audience we're playing to. We Have it All is a no-brainer, as everyone seems to like that song. I also have a new one that I would love to play if we can prepare it in time for the show. We shall see...

 

Monday August 22nd, 2005

I'm considering moving my journal over to Livejournal.com but I haven't decided yet. It seems set up for this sort of thing. Such tough decisions to make...

Autonomy had a business meeting recently and I think we're slowly forming a more concrete plan of action. I am all too often frustrated by Billy and his lack of experience in these matters, which I tend to quickly assume is a lack of initiative. Oddly enough, it seems that when I start to get frustrated with him, he calls me before I can say anything and has lined up a gig or a meeting with someone important. It's still very good that he and I meet from time to time, if only to remind one another that we're on the same team.

I had the sincere delight of playing paintball last weekend with Kristina and Odin, and their militia group. It was a really great time and probably the best scenarios and terrain I've seen for paintball. I still owe them some money though... note to self...

I'm making big steps toward getting Autonomy's shit together. We now can sell our stuff online which is a big deal. I'm also getting us in some CD stores, which is waaay overdue. I want to shore up Autonomy's merchandising by the end of this month. It's a lot to do.

 

Friday July 29th, 2005

We've had to do something very painful. We've cancelled a show for August 10th. It sucks because it was going to be a very cool show with two bands we appreciate and are friends with: In the Morning and Seven Days Remain. I'm sure they'll hold down the fort just fine without us, but it would have been fun to be there.

My friends Kristina and Odin are part of a paintball team, or squadron, or batallion or something. No wait, I think they call themselves a militia.. yeah, that's it Anyway, they want me and my friend Brian to come play with them sometime when there is an open day and I'm excited about it. I'm a little worried, because these folks sound pretty serious about their paintball. I've always liked playing paintball, but I've never taken it so serious as to wear face paint and camo, be assigned a rank, take on a callsign, and draw up battle plans so someone can bark orders at me. If I was into that, I'd just... well... join the real millitary. I've always just figured taking a marker out and shooting other people until everyone is 'dead' was fun enough. I'm interested to see how this will be!

Tonight is Marko's birthday party. His band, The Back Alley band, is playing at Whiskey Junction tonight so I hope to check that out. It sounds like a really good time. I can't stay out too late though, because tomorrow we help Poppy's parents to move. It's gonna be a long day so I'll need my sleep.

 

Wednesday July 27th, 2005

Autonomy had our last practice as a full band for a while. Jendeen is going under the knife next week and will be out of comission for a bit, but we sure managed to get one hell of a rehearsal in last night. I presented a song I'd written called "Reiterate" and the band latched onto it immediately and fleshed it out in no time. We managed to work out many of the kinks by the end of the evening and the song really came together quickly.

Reiterate is a song I wrote while I was in Dallas. My former band, Project Eleven, tried working it up but we never really went anywhere with it, and the track never found it's way in a studio. I've always felt the song had potential, and I'm glad ot be dusting it off and giving it another run with a fresh set of musicians. Lyrically it is similar in style to songs like Scars or Everyone Serves a Purpose - but musically it ventures into territory this band has not yet traversed.

We're probably going to cancel our show on August 10th because finding a backup drummer in time is just proving too difficult. With Jendeen being out in August, I want to use the month to focus on the business end of Autonomy. We are sorely lacking in booking and promotion these days and I want to remedy that. I hope to talk to some booking agents, managers, and the like.

 

Tuesday July 12th, 2005

A friend of mine is moving away to Canada, but I was lucky enough to hang out with him again before he left. He is a musician as well, and we talked at great length about the future of music and the way in which the industry has changed. While we were on the same page about a great many things, our conversation has definitely made me think a lot about my tiny little place in the music business - and Autonomy's future.

Things aren't what they were, yet they are. Let me explain: People are buying albums less, and buying (or stealing) singles more. Radio stations give DJs less freedom/control over what they play and the result it less variety and more predictability. Record labels take less chances and only invest in proven products. People recycle more, and I'm not just talking trash. As a people, we've become less interested in producing new art or blazing new ground. The result is recycling the music that was recorded in the 1950s, 60s, 70s, and now the 80s. Nowhere is it more evident than in the movie industry. Remakes are the hot ticket right now. They're remaking everything from Charlie's Angels to the Bad News Bears to Willy Wonka. New ideas for movies are so scary, that it's easier to invest in movies that have proven stories and characters already developed. It's not that they are dry in terms of new things to make movies about, as so many people think. Oh no, they just don't want to take a chance on new stories/authors/actors/characters/ideas.

So back to music... popular culture is treating artists as very disposable these days. If we don't like a song on the radio, we can just change to one of a billion other stations, pop in a CD, or draw from the list of songs stored on our iPod. Music is everywhere and it is taken for granted. People don't want to buy the album when you can download the one or two songs you heard on MTV. People seem to have forgotten what the ALBUM EXPERIENCE is all about. It's really sad for people like me, because I can't imagine listening to only one or two songs off Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album. If I was to download only one Tool song, what would it be? I can't answer that, I love so much of their material. And what will happen to the concept albums of the past- albums that tell a story over the course of the entire listening experience. To download a couple of MP3s into your iPod out of the collection would defeat the whole purpose.

Autonomy's audiences have been different than ones I've played to with past bands I've been in. The attention span of a crowd is less than it once was, and there is less urgency to follow indie bands these days. It used to be 'cool' to follow all these bands that nobody has heard of. Now, if you haven't heard of them it's probably because they're not any good. It's rather sad, but rather than sit around and pine for the old days I must plan for Autonomy's future and adapt to the changes.

As much as I want to finish that concept album next, I think releasing one would be a bad idea in this musical climate. Nobody is going to write The Wall these days, and if they did it would probably never be released or heard by anyone. I'm going to focus on singles.

I also don't believe in touring like I once did. I think it only matters when you are touring with a purpose, not just going form town to town trying to win people over. Autonomy has been hugely successful with our internet-based efforts, and I want to pursue that more. I believe we can market ourselves using the internet to radio, TV, promoters, agents, labels, and more in order to set up tours that people will actually ATTEND in the future. Hell, our music is being heard in countries we've never been to before - and it's all because of the internet. Autonomy has been played on the radio on other continents thanks to the internet. It is the key. If we can generate a buzz about us in places around the world, then we will have people to play to when we actually tour there. It's simple.

I also believe that selling our music has to be approached very differently as well. We must be able to sell our music track by track on the internet in addition to selling it in stores. This is key to our success. Man, I've got a lot of work to do!

 

Wednesday June 22nd, 2005

I've unloaded the van and have purchased a Chevrolet Trailblazer which is really a far more appropriate vehicle for me. It matches my personality in many ways: it's big, it's American, it's inefficient, it's dressed in black, it consumes a great deal of fuel, it's powerful yet quiet, it loves playing music loudly, and it looks angry most of the time.

I love this vehicle so far. It really feels right and has a rock star presence about it which the minivan sorely lacked. It also runs well, a feature my minivan was definitely without.

It is good to be driving again, although the bus was a fine experience. I enjoyed taking the bus in the morning so much that I may still continue to use it from time to time. It was nice to people watch, but beyond that I must say that being on the street in the early morning really gives you a feel for the city itself... what kind of day it is... what's happening around you... the weather... it's all tied together and it's very energizing to get that sensory input for breakfast every day.

Autonomy played very well at our last two shows. Jendeen has really become a part of what we're doing emotionally and creatively and it shows in our live performances. Billy is now a very polished player and a true partner to me which helps me to open up more when I play. I'm now less worried about being the ringmaster on stage and keeping everything together. I'm no longer the fulcrum of the group, but rather I'm just another appendage of a larger being. That's exactly where I want to be, and Autonomy is beginning to realize my vision of a band in which all members act as equals. It is an exciting time for the group, and it's a shame that more people aren't making it to our shows to witness this rebirth.

The Triple Rock was a real treat for me. Returning to that stage and having a strong audience felt like a true victory. My voice didn't hold up as well as it could have that night... Allergies had weakened my singing voice, so it only lasted through about 2/3 of the set. I managed to make it through the last third by hitting less high notes, improvising vocal lines into ranges I still could hit, and using screaming technique when all else failed. We played with a fantastic group called Iced Ink. They are an instrumental group that had some fabulous style and songwriting chops which I enjoyed completely. Our friends In the Morning were there as well and put on a solid set, but it wasn't as good as I've seen them in the past. I tend to like their older material better, from when they were still called Apathy. Nonetheless, they can really do no wrong in my eyes as they are all good players and excellent people.

The Red Sea was a fiasco. We had a terrible turnout for it and I really didn't feel the other bands supported the show as much as they should have. Autonomy certainly did our part to make it work, but I didn't see a lot of promotional help from the others and few of them stuck around to see our set which says a lot about a band I think. Our draw was poor as a result. It's too bad though, because Autonomy really rocked out that night. Billy and Jendeen felt it was the best performance we've had so far. We all hit our stride and played our parts very well. My voice held up the entire show and I was very pleased with the sound provided by Tempest (bassist for All the Pretty Horses who was running sound for us that night). Although I wasn't quite as blown away as Billy and Jen, I still felt we did an excellent job. For me, the Triple Rock was more fun - perhaps it was the audience...

 

Monday June 6th, 2005

My van died. It's a sad day because I really liked that van. Oh well, now I am honored with the distinct priviledge of shopping for a new vehicle and dealing with sorry-ass car salesmen. I'm not paranoid, I just know they are all out to get me. I can feel their beady little eyes locking onto me as I enter the lot. They salivate as they engage an intercept path towards me. I can hear the gears in their heads turning as they observe everything about me. "He has long hair, a chin beard... must be a starving musician... he'll need a cosigner..." and he keeps coming "he's looking at minivans... is that a wife I see?... expecting a baby perhaps... push the safety features and gas mileage...." and his pace quickens while I try to ignore him and avoid eye contact "yes, a wedding ring... they're married... we can use her credit too... do they own or rent.... maybe I can push a high-mileage P.O.S. on them..."

For every 1 'good' car salesperson, there are anywhere from 50 to 100 'bad' ones. And by 'bad' I don't mean ineffective, I mean EVIL. I don't trust them as far as I can throw them. They love to inquire about my band, like it matters. Like they even care what kind of music I play. Like they'd even listen to it in the first place. "Oh, ya... I've got a nephew who likes that kinda music." Fuck off. I could give two shits about your nephew and his supposed love of 'that kind' of music. Your pandering only insults me by putting what I do into a convenient little box that you yourself do not even understand, so lets skip the formalities and get down to business. How much for that P.O.S. you're trying to push on me? Not today, pal. Give me your business card and I'll be sure to NOT call you when I get home, right after I throw it in the garbage.

So now I am searching for the new vehicle that will define me for the next 5 years. I say that optimistically because that's about how long my loan will take to pay off. With any luck, I'll find something reliable that can handle the rigors of band travel and suburban crap acquisition.

 

Monday May 16th, 2005

Well, one show met it's demise and immediately 2 more sprung into place for us. Very nice, and it's reassuring to be reminded that the universe will always unfold as it should. We've got more shows being penned as well, and a couple of mini tours in the works so I really feel Autonomy is gaining momentum.

Jendeen is continuing to do shows with us, which is really great. We are even working hard on new material, even finding time to work up some new material. She learns so fast and is always a joy to practice with and I just hope she doesnt' get sick of us!

 

Tuesday May 10th, 2005

Our 'big show' at Club Euphoria has been cancelled, which really sucks. I guess the club didn't want to buy a PA system, and then all of the booking people quit out of protest. I can't imagine what they'd book without a PA anyway, but good for them. What a mickeymouse operation it must be... It's still a shame because we were really looking forward to that show.

I'll continue booking us for the summer and fall and hopefully we can rebound in what has been a lackluster year. We've had terrible luck with gigs being cancelled in 2005 and I hope this is it!

 

Wednesday April 27th, 2005

I've become Autonomy's secretary... at least that's what it feels like. Oddly enough, this is Administrative Assistant's Day (formerly Secretary's Day) and I haven't gotten a card, flowers, or a fruit basket. I guess it's a thankless job, but if it will move the band forward I guess it's all worth it. haha

I've been booking a small tour for this summer. We're looking into playing some dates in various other states and it is remarkable how hard it can be to get everything coordinated on the right dates in the right places so as to minimize driving and expenses. Autonomy may have a bit of a name built for itself in our hometown, but we're starting all over when we travel to another city. I love a challenge....

I'm also working out deals with some CD distributors that are still in the early stages. I'm very proud of our debut disc, but now it's a matter of exposing people to it and making it available to them when they want to buy it. This is especially important to have in place once the band reaches distant cities where we can't be in their face all of the time like we are here in Minneapolis.

The band is actually getting airplay now on a few stations. Naturally, I want to increase our airplay but that's true of any band. It's good to know that even without a full-time drummer we can get things done.

 

Wednesday April 20th, 2005

It's a sad day for local music. Bryan Ottoson from American Head Charge was found dead yesterday. He was a very cool guitar player and a class-act guy who will be missed. He was always very cool to Billy and I and it's sad to have the humble ones go so soon.

I've had a couple of bands inquire as to my availability to play bass for them recently. It's really flattering... I am a little worried about breaking my focus from Autonomy, but it might be nice to play someone else's music for a little bit while we look for a new drummer. Once I get a new person in place full-time I know I'll just want to hit it hard with Autonomy again, but until then I have some time so it might be a nice change. Even if it doesn't work out, it's always healthy to jam with other people.

I've been dipping my toe into the booking arena for some time and now I'm ready to take some bolder steps. I'm putting together a couple of mini-tours for this summer. We're looking at going south for a weekend, and hitting a couple of cities that way. I also would like to go east and maybe do Chicago and Indianapolis or something. It would also be great to bring out music to rural Minnesota and Wisconsin, as they haven't had exposure to us yet. I'll do what I can, but I have no help at this time so it's a big workload.

 

Monday April 4th, 2005

I can't believe it... something came loose in my head today and all of this music started pouring out. I've been in a creative dry spell for the longest time, but today I sat down with my bass and a microphone and music just spilled all over the place. In fact, it was so fast and furious that I couldn't jot it all down. I'm having a jam session tonight with Billy and Jendeen so hopefully this keeps up...

I had the strangest dream last night. I had a blue force field around me which was totally clear (except for the slight blue tint) like a bubble. I could direct it and fly around in it, and the bubble sustained me wherever I went (under the ocean, in the sky, volcanoes, etc.). I went all over the place in it and as I did I began to test the limits of the bubble ship. I took it up and up into the sky until I was in space. So I flew around the moon, and then onward to Venus. The bubble allowed me to explore the planet surface and endure the tremendous pressure and nasty acidic conditions. When I was done exploring there, I took off again and headed toward the sun. I reached the surface of the sun and decided to dunk my ship down into it. So I did. I went down and down and down, sinking into the burning/flowing/exploding madness until I reached the exact center of the sun. I knew it was the center because I'd stopped sinking at last and it was very calm. It was all bright and glowing yellowish/orange. It was quite beautiful and peaceful... bright and comfortably warm. I soon began thinking about how incredibly freaky it was to be in the center of the sun, so I decided to leave. I tried to direct my bubble out of it, but the tremendous pressure that the bubble was under from all sides held me firmly in place. I couldn't budge. I was stuck in the center of this enormous ball of burning gas. It got very scary as I contemplated what would happen when my force field bubble ran out or, worse yet, how I would be spending the rest of my existance trapped inside the sun.

 

Friday April 1st, 2005

Mitch Hedberg died yesterday and we're really bummed out about it. He was a really amazing comedian and it's always terrible to lose a local buy who done good. I've seen and heard a lot of his standup and have followed his career since being introduced to his humor. What a tragic loss... he was only 37.

It sounds like the Pope is ready to go as well. Johnny Cochran died earlier in the week. People are dropping like flies it seems... at least highly visible people are. It just goes to show that no matter who you are, death finds you eventually.

Last night Billy and I had an audition scheduled. The guy called 15 minutes after he was supposed to be there and said he got signed on Tuesday and signed a contract that forbids him from playing with anyone else. What a load of crap. Sometimes the unprofessionalism of the musicians we try out is very disheartening. It makes it hard to stay focused when amateurs keep wasting my time.

Fortunately we have a few good prospects right now, but I can't believe how hard it has been to attract quality candidates. This band is a drummers dream, but so many players can't see past their own egos to realize the potential that Autonomy offers to someone with motivation. I guess it's good that those players aren't trying out, because that's exactly what we're trying to stay away from.

Billy and I have decided to take a month or two off from performing to focus on rebuilding the band. This is the perfect time to do it, and we're getting a lot of responses so it looks like we will have plenty to do in our so-called 'downtime'. We're expanding our search to include other types of musicians, like keyboardists and bassists - maybe even backup singers.

At work, I'm working on banners for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - the remake coming out this summer by Tim Burton. It looks pretty fun, but it's hard to remake a classic so we shall see whether it lives up to the original.

 

Monday March 21st, 2005

I took Poppy to the hospital today, she's sick as can be. Coughing and snotty, hot and cold, you name it she's got it. We can't seem to keep away from those hospitals no matter what we do! The doctor wouldn't prescribe antibiotics so she is supposed to just tough it out.

Our St. Patty's Day show went well, and we played very hard. I think the band played pretty well, but the sound wasn't mixed very well due to being rushed onstage. The end result was a rather muddy sounding performance that didn't represent us properly, but people seemed to enjoy it anyway. Our new friend Carolyn was able to attend this show and see what we do for the first time. She didn't really comment to me about the show, so I'm not sure what she thought of it. I did get a number of comments from people and most were glowing reviews, even though I knew we could've sounded better.

Billy and I have been talking and have determined that we should take a little break from gigging between now and summer. We want to get back to auditioning new players and redesigning the band. Playing with Jendeen is a delight of course, but we know it's only a temporary measure. Billy and I both feel the time is now to find new members that we can move forward with creatively. I have become increasingly antsy to add more musicians to the band.... I've always wanted a larger band than just 3 pieces, and the only reason I ever stopped at 3 in the first place was to appease Rockula. With him gone, the notions of 'attention' and 'stealing the spotlight' are gone along with those accompanying insecurities. My instincts all along were to shoot for 4 or 5 pieces... and I need to start trusting my instincts again.

So what's next? I started writing a concept album, and I'm still toying with the idea. The problem as I see it is that 'concept albums' are really a dated concept. I thought it was a dead art, and it may still be... even considering Green Day's new rock opera. I think MP3s and Ipods and satellite radio are all pointing us in the direction of the single - NOT the album. This kinda stinks for me, because I've longed for the challenge of creating an entire album with a message/story. I might just buck the popular trend and do it anyway, but I'm not sure.

One thing I can say about my future is I have some tracks in the works for the band that share similar themes. A lot of it is disenchantment with popular music... a lot of the recent stuff I'm writing about is a critique of the music business... a lot of the material is faster and heavier... and less cryptic. I'm getting a lot harsher with my accusations and writing a lot less of the 'I feel sorry for myself' and 'let me tell you about my feelings' crap. I am definitely taking a stance on things lately and writing about it. This includes more than just music industry stuff, but musicians as well. Last year was filled with instances involving other musicians that have been inspirational, or tragic, or both.

 

Monday March 14th, 2005

Our show at the Urban Wildlife rocked, and it was just what we needed to get back in the swing of things. I really liked Gabriel and Thee Apocalypse and I hope we are able to do more shows with them. I see potential in them and I can't wait to see what becomes of them. The first band was a bit more one-dimensional but at least they were tight. They were very young kids and although I was disappointed that they didn't bother to introduce themselves to me they redeemed themselves by keeping their stuff together so well.

We're riding high now with hopes of killing 'em at Star Central on St. Patty's Day. Billy is very keen on introducing some of the new stuff into our set that night but I'm not really sold on it. He's hot about one piece in particular, one which he's written. I'm dragging my feet a bit because I'd like some more time to really think out the vocals. I have some rough lyrics written for it, but we are tackling a pretty serious subject matter with this one and I want to make sure what I'm presenting is thought-out.

Poppy made a new dish which contains pasta, carrots, broccoli, lots of cheese, and is topped with breadcrumbs and baked. I asked her what the name of it was, and she said she just whipped it up and that it didn't have a name. So I began thinking of names. We were watching her DVD concert of The Cure so I suggested "Robert Smith Pasta Surprise" - a name which I thought was quite clever but failed to impress her for some reason.

Tonight we rehearse with Jendeen. We had to cancel a show at the Red Sea- not due to the controversy regarding Eric and his wife mind you - but because we weren't able to line up a drummer for that show. We might reschedule for April sometime, but we're also considering taking a little break to do auditions. I'll talk to the gang tonight and see what their thoughts are...

 

 

Friday February 25th, 2005

We played an impromptu show at The Rock earlier in the week. It was fun, but it was a very sparse crowd. I honestly can't remember the last time we played so well together, if ever. It was a solid performance, and I'm glad it was because I had friends seeing the band for the first time at this show. My best friend growing up, Keith, brought his lovely wife Kim and some friends to see us live for the first time. They seemed to like it... It was really good to see them again, and it looks like I'll get to see more of them because they've decided to move closer to the Twin Cities in the fall.

At the moment I am focused on our next major show. We've been given a headlining slot for a Friday night at the Urban Wildlife, and I want to make it special and memorable. I am assembling a team of special effects people to put together a stage show that will be very trippy and intense. At this point the plan is to utilize some lo-fi equipment I have had laying around, including a slide projector and a light-up cross. Now that my friend Brian is out of the Marines I plan on enlisting his help too... He has lots of good visual ideas.

The show itself is with a band we are excited to finally work with. Their name is Gabriel and thee Apocalypse and they are from Rochester, MN. The other band is one I'm not familiar with, but hopefully they work hard at promotion too...

 

 

Friday February 18th, 2005

I spent most of this week in the hospital undergoing treatment for some very severe abdominal pains I began having last weekend. The doctors did all sorts of tests on me and finally admitted me to Methodist Hospital in St. Louis Park. It was lots of fun, lemme tell you. Not only was the liquid diet delicious, but my wardrove was particularily stunning. I spent a couple of days on morphine staring at a TV set while an IV pumped various medicines into my body. Somehow it managed to clear up what I had, and I'm grateful to be back to my normal life. I'm still a bit weak from all of this, but my strength is returning and I expect to be singing and playing again this weekend.

It was nice to have so many visitors though. Poppy, of course, was by my side through most of it. Also longtime Autonomy enablers Kristina and Odin showed up to give me shit- always a treat. Visitors really help pass the time between bad television shows, morphine rushes, sleeping, and talking to my dying roommate (named William, interestingly enough).

My friend Brian returned from his service in the Marines this week, and it has been great hanging out with him again. He has lots of ideas on how to bring Autonomy's stage show to the next level. I'm all for it.

I'm really itching to get back to playing. We have a little Tuesday concert scheduled for next week at the Rock which should be perfect for getting my head back in the game. Then it's back to finding a full-time drummer.

 

Thursday February 10th, 2005

This sucks. Our headlining show at the Urban Wildlife was just cancelled for the second time. We were originally scheduled to perform on the 1st of this year. That show was cancelled due to bad weather. Now this time the club changed management, and they've decided to cancel all shows this weekend to put in a new bar, revamp the club, and add a sign to the front of the building. It's like this show is cursed...

While these are all needed upgrades to the place, I wish they'd given us more notice. I can't believe they aren't doing this remodeling on a Tuesday or something... why a weekend? And why cancel it the day before the show? We did so much promotion for this show and it is a shame to lose it after all of our hard work. Plus, we were really looking forward to it. We had worked up a different drummer for this show (Daryl) and have been intensely rehearsing. I've been losing sleep. Thousdands of flyers went out.... press releases... invitations to the media... posters... web advertising... email blasts... all for not. Very depressing.

 

Tuesday February 1st, 2005

We're working up another backup drummer for the show on the 11th, because Jendeen is busy with other commitments. For a time it looked like she wanted to do regular gigs with us, but now it appears her schedule is just too full and the drummer search must continue. She will continue to fill-in for us from time to time, but she can't be a full band member. I'm glad we know now, since I really was worried about interfering with her other projects (all of which I am a fan). Putting a strain on her other bands is not our intention, nor is straining our relationship with those bands... They are all cool people and we need a full-time person anyway so hopefully it will all work out.

Billy and I try not to be disappointed, but it's hard because we had our hopes up for a bit. I believe things happen for a reason, so I am confident everything will work out in time.. We just need to be diligent and appreciate the shows we still have yet to come!

We're promoting the hell out of our show on the 11th at the Urban Wildlife. It's dominated much of our time. We've already put out over 2000 flyers and I've been hitting the web and the media pretty hard. Hopefully it will pay off.

 

Monday January 17th, 2005

It's like 12 degrees below zero today. This state really sucks sometimes.

I've gotten so much feedback on the last two shows, and it's all been very good. Our Star Central show went quite well, although we had a better draw at the Fine Line. I think we played better at Star Central, and it was really fun to explore the material without being rushed for a change. Most of the comments I got about the show were about how much better the band sounds with Jendeen, how natural we all sound together, and why can't she be the full-time drummer.

It got Billy and I thinking, well... why can't she?

Jendeen is everything anyone would want in a drummer: undeniable talent, reverent and respectful of the material she is working on, committed, an incredible work ethic, a sweet disposition and very fun to be around. So why haven't we tried to formally offer the position? Well, it sounds rather silly I guess... but we had a predetermined notion of what our next drummer would be that differs a bit from our arrangement with Jendeen - and it's a notion that needs to be re-examined I think. We wanted (and still want) someone to be a FULL partner in the band. Someone that can share everything- victories & defeats, profits & expenses, compliments & criticism, credit & blame. She seems to be comfortable either being the driver or the passenger in her projects, but Autonomy is founded on the idea of being a partnership. Jendeen spreads herself around a lot, and has a lot of musicians, bands, projects, etc. that require her time (and money, I'm sure). We love all of her bands too, so we wouldn't want to disrupt them of course...

Maybe we're overanalyzing this. I mean, if anyone can juggle that many bands and do justice to them all it is Jendeen. Billy and I are poor and splitting the expenses, promotion, and work involved in running an original band 50/50 is very difficult. Perhaps it is the price one pays for working with the best drummer in town.

I guess I should just talk to her about it and see where her head is at. There is no doubt we can make brilliant music together, and we all can push each other to be better musicians. Decisions based entirely on financial reasons are usually wrong, in my experience... maybe the solution will present itself. Perhaps adding a fourth member will allow us to disperse a more manageable workload. Maybe once the band starts making bigger money the rehearsal space rent will just pay itself. Maybe we can find a cheaper place to practice... A lot of things could happen to help us out.

In the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy the time we have to it's fullest. Autonomy has never sounded better than it does at this very moment, and we are winning back people that were turned off by Rockula. Sound guys actually like us again. It's a great feeling and I want to ride it to see where it takes us.

 

Tuesday January 11th, 2005

We had a fantastic show last night, and it felt so good. We really were out to prove something to the Fine Line and I'm glad that all of the bands came through and brought in a great crowd. The place was as jumpin' as I've ever seen it on a Monday night and even the snowfall we had didn't stop people from coming out.

All of the bands I booked did a great job musically too, which was fantastic. Vicious Violet started off the evening with an incredibly unusual set that was as bizarre as it was campy. It was interesting to see Matt Bachelor in character doing the frontman thing, although he did some showing off behind the kit as well. Marko and Falen were on strings and did well apart from a couple of technical glitches early on. Marko is a pro and I've grown to just expect him to bring his best game every time, which he seems to do with ease.

We followed them and although we had some equipment problems early on in the set, we tightened it up pretty quickly and pulled off a pretty good performance by the end of it all. I really wanted to play this 2nd slot because it was early in the night and it allowed me to chill out the rest of the evening and listen to music. It actually worked to our advantage, as we had the night's biggest crowd which we were able to warm up for Kelly Nicole.

Kelly Nicole, quite frankly, was outstanding. The band was not only tight and well-rehearsed, but they were really nice people that I enjoyed meeting. The vocals were very, very good and definitely humbled me a bit. They played a combination of covers and originals, which were all solid. They attempted some Tool stuff, which was great to see - since it is such challenging material. Tool fans also consider that music somewhat sacred, and you don't dare butcher it without hearing about it. So I felt choosing to cover that material was as bold as it was risky, as there is just no forgiveness for fucking up. We talked with them about our excitement for the coming show we're doing together at Star Central. After seeing them live, and seeing how well our bands work together, I am even more pumped for that show.

In the Morning followed them, and they were the last band that I actually booked for the evening. They delivered a solid performance all the way throught, and I'd dare say it was technically perfect. I didn't hear the usual live blunders, voice cracking, mistakes, etc. that are commonly associated with a live rock show. They reproduced the recorded material I'm familiar with very well, with remarkable accuracy. It was also neat to see their bassist, and my co-worker, Hans perform for the first time. He is quite good and I definitely gained more respect for him. Newman's guitar work is just filled with tasty choices throughout every song, and I admire his restraint in places as much as I appreciate his technique. Very, very good.

The evening ended on a rather comical note for me. The Fine Line had to fill the final slot of the evening with someone, and they chose a rap group called Lyrical Pedestrianz. I honestly didn't think they were that bad for some white dudes from the mean streets of Edina, but it was just the wrong crowd/night for them. They have a Beastie Boys-esque style that is pretty hot and has a lot of humor injected into it, and some pretty tight rhyming. Their show just seemed out of place following a bunch of dark-sounding hard rock bands. In fairness, that midnight slot on Monday nights is a bitch to play...

I had a great time all night though, partly because of the music but also because a lot of friends showed up to support us. That felt really good. My friends Raven & Ali were there, whom I don't see enough of lately. Kristina and Odin came as spectators not expecting to be doing crew stuff that night, but the ended up helping us out (as usual) which we were thankful for. They are so giving with their time and assistance in things, and since they've been with us so long they just jump in and find ways to make things easier for us. Poppy brought lots of friends from her work to the show too, and they are all cool people - especially Brent and Ms. Beef n' Cheese who claim we did the best we've ever done. I think they were high, but I'll take the compliment! Billy's parents were there and offered support with their usual smiling faces and pats on the back for us. Lots of musical colleagues showed up for the show, as well as some cool industry people. There were a couple people who were conspicuously absent, but I'll work on guilt-tripping them into coming to the next show. haha!

 

Monday January 3rd, 2005

Autonomy was all set to start the year off with a bang, and instead we started off with a bummer. Our New Years Day show was cancelled due to the miserable weather we were having, and we're reschedulign it with slightly diminished enthusiasm. It will still be a great show, but I had a lot planned for January 1st, 2005.

Since the show didn't happen, I might as well go into what was going to happen.

I really wanted to use the show as a platform to express my belief that we are in the musical dark ages. Worse than the corporations who won the battle years ago and cast us into this age, is the widespread belief that local music (wherever you may live) is less relevant than national/corporate sponsored music. 2004 was a dark year in this regard, because music companies stopped signing new acts and concentrated on selling off their existing stock of albums while scrambling to adapt somehow to the digital MP3 revolution that hit them like a tsunami. The news only gets worse for indie artists trying to be heard... Venues are being snatched up by corporate music interests now that they already dominate the radio, TV, and magazine markets - making it harder for the little guy to get a gig on his own. Even the mighty First Avenue in Minneapolis, one of few large venues that still book indie acts, closed it's doors and threatened disappearance.

Does that sound like a rather depression excuse for a show to you? Well, read on - there's more.

The show was ALSO intended to suggest that 2005 could be the year we took it back. All of it. Sure, they won the war a long long time ago and have dictated what we listen to for decades - but out of every dark age comes a renaissance. I believe 2004 may have opened the door for this rebirth to take place - and in 2005 we have the chance to step through that door into an exciting new age of creativity.

When attacking an adversary that is much bigger/stronger than you are, you need to search for a weakness and find the right moment to strike. The corporate music industry is in trouble, and they know it. In 2004 the music industry took massive damage from blunders ranging from superbowl indecency to lip-synching fiascos. Their sales are down, and the free exchange of MP3 music files on the internet have seriously challenged their business models because what they used to sell to us is now available for free. They are terrified that their product will lose its value, and they are desperately trying different ways of turning it around so they can make money off of these downloads. They've convinced a few people to pay $.99 per song, but it isn't enough to compensate for the entire albums they're not selling now that people can get the song(s) they want for free. The music industry has even tried guilting people into paying because it supposedly hurts the artists. It isn't working. The public either has limited sympathy for Metallica and Jay-Z's financial problems, or they see this guilt-trip as a ploy to keep the product moving and their stock from falling. 2004 also saw the rise of internet and satellite radio, both forms of airplay that they have yet to monopolize and control. The internet in general terrifies them, because it is the great equalizer of our time. On the internet, even the little guy can reach the masses. Add all of this up and the music industry becomes something of a crippled, wounded, bleeding beast struggling to get back on it's feet.

2005 can be the beginning of the end for these huge corporate entities that control what we listen to. People are just beginning to realize how they've been lied to and manipulated, and those who already know the score are sick of it. Toppling the corporate giants may be too lofty a goal to pursue right now, but we can start taking baby steps in that direction. I salute the local artists who have struggled against all odds to have their talent heard, and urge everyone to show some support for those brilliant minds your community produces. You can make a difference, even if it is a small one, just by showing support for the artists making music at the bar down the block. Find their websites, look up their tour dates, go to their shows, give them the chance to impress you, and buy their stuff when they do. Money is a great help to any struggling artist, but some forms of support don't cost a thing. When you see a band you like, don't be afraid to go up to them and tell them. Write a letter to the club telling them how much you liked a group they booked. Drop a e-mail to a radio station or newspaper about the local bands you discover.

This was to be the theme of our January 1st concert, and will be the defining philosophy of Autonomy in the year 2005. Giving people access to ALL music, not just the music you're supposed to see, is something we feel very strongly about. Debunking the myth that music from LA or Nashville or New York has the most relevance to Minnesotans is critical to us. Raising awareness about the depth and promising talent our community/city/state/region has to offer is also paramount to this mission. Getting people involved in their local music community, both the musicians and the concertgoers, is key. We want to challenge an entire mindset, and that's not an easy undertaking. Autonomy is going to try anyway, and search for ways to contribute toward this ideal.

... but enough about that for now...

2004 was a bizarre year for Autonomy, but we learned a lot from it. We made new friends, lost some old friends... In 2004 the band released it's first full-length album, got it's first major press write-ups, and signed to our first record label. We played some of the best stages in the area and gained lots of new supporters. The year also saw the departure of the band's drummer and founding member Robert "Rockula" Knott. We created an Autonomy street team. The band began getting airplay, and net play. Billy graduated, and we peformed at his graduation recital which was really awesome. We performed with our friends Matt Bachelor and Marko. We also had the pleasure of working with one of our local heros, Jendeen Forberg, preparing new material and performing it alongside our existing music. What else... I quit smoking in January of last year, and started again in June, and then quit again in August, September, and November. As for this writing, I'm still a non-smoker so 2005 is looking good so far. I'll keep you posted!

 

Wednesday December 15th, 2004

I received an e-mail from Robert saying he was upset about a couple of statements I made about him in this journal. He took issue with a couple of word choices and statements I've made in two entries, so in the spirit of goodwill I've gone back and edited those entries and indicated the edited parts with brackets [ ]. Hopefully this will appease him so we can move on.

Autonomy has just landed a huge New Years show! We will be headlining a big event downtown and Billy, Jendeen and I are very excited about it. I'll post more details sometime soon- I've got posters to design right now.

 

Tuesday December 14th, 2004

I've signed Autonomy up on SoundClick.com's website. We now have a page there and they host MP3 files, which is cool. Hopefully it will be another avenue for exposure that works well for us. The internet has been very kind to us so far. We generate interest in parts of the world we've never been before, which is something artists could not do 20 years ago. It's a huge advantage, and one I try to use as much as possible.

 

Monday December 13th, 2004

Autonomy has been consuming a lot of my time lately. I've been writing lots of new lyrics and have been working hard back at the band's HQ to construct the next era of Autonomy. We're continuing to audition, but we now have a couple of good candidates so we're very excited. One candidate in particular looks very promising. He is young and has a lot of enthusiasm for the material. That's probably my #1 requirement.... I'll even take enthusiasm over talent if given a choice...

It's great to have the wind back in our sails again. We have actually been making progress lately and a lot of dates are coming into the picture for 2005. It looks like we will be doing some mini-tours next year. Chicago, Wisconsin, the Dakotas, Iowa, Kansas, and rural Minnesota should all get a taste of this band next year.

I read that Robert was fired from his new band recently. It was a post he'd written and he continued on to say that they fired him because he couldn't do what they asked of him. His account is that he was about to quit, and then they beat him to the punch but who knows... Robert hasn't called me yet to talk about it, but I imagine he's probably a little embarassed to be fired by that band. I hope that from this he will at least understand that most bands he finds aren't going to be as patient/forgiving as we were.

 

Friday December 10th, 2004

This past week has been great. Autonomy had some great auditions, and a number of shows are coming together for January of next year. I'm booking the band heavily these days and it's beginning to pick up. Autonomy needs to prove itself all over again with a new lineup and I can't wait to get started. It will be so much easier this time around.

Poppy and I had coffee with Jendeen on Wednesday, and it was good to chat. I've asked her to play drums for us at the Fine Line show I'm assembling and she has agreed, so we ironed out when practice would be. It is one of the things that has gone right during the organization of this event. I've tried to book so many bands, many of whom we really admire, and have been rejected. Everyone is already busy, or the band split up, or they're in the studio, etc. For instance, Spew and Stigma broke up which really sucks. I liked both of those bands very much. The Altar of Rock, whom I'd really counted on being a highpoint of this show, told me they were unable to do the show due to their work schedules. It's the second time I've built a show with them in mind, and they've turned me down (the last time was our CD release party at the 7th St. Entry).

 

Thursday December 9th, 2004

I've been working with a couple of female singers on the side, trying to figure out if my voice would work well with harmony. It has been lots of fun but definitely a learning experience. I'm also figuring our what I want and what I don't want.

Today I get a day off. I haven't had a day to myself in a long time. I think I'll play some video games.

 

Wednesday December 1st, 2004

Last night I went to see Robert (Rockula), and the evening was very disappointing. He was in town to play with his new band, the Von Ehrics, at the Turf Club. I attempted to reconcile with him regarding the CDs [that went missing at the same time he left], but he refused to speak to me about it. When I told him we were hurt by what he'd done, he paused and then answered "My left arm has been giving out on me lately... sometimes I can't even grip a stick with my hand it's so bad... It's really freaky."

At that moment I realized he was never going to come clean and repair our damaged friendship.Hell, he wouldn't even talk to me about it, which was very insulting. It was difficult for me to lose a friend in this way, but it wasn't my choice. I'm really bothered by it, because we have had such history between us and it sucks when friends let stuff like this come between them. I think I just have been valuing our friendship more than he ever did (or ever could). I counted it as a loss and adjourned to the club and met up with some friends who had turned out to see the spectacle that was Robert's new band.

For the first couple of songs I thought they were pretty good. But then they kept playing what sounded like the same song over and over again, and their meter is terrible. He really has taken a big step back from Autonomy... Oh well, if he's happy playing that rubbish I guess more power to him. At the end of their set I told him that both of their songs rocked. He thought I was joking...

 

Wednesday November 24th, 2004

I have been involved in the First Avenue message board ever since the place closed (it has recently reopened). Some people were saying that there should be a boycott of local bands that play at Clear Channel operated venues. I wrote a response I wanted to post in here and it is as follows:

I don't expect I will make a lot of friends with what I'm about to say, but I'll say it anyway.

Boycotting local bands that play at the Quest is not going to do anything but hurt local music. Speaking as a musician who is trying to get exposure in this town, I can tell you that places like the Quest are the symptom of a larger problem. What is happening with Clear Channel and corporate radio/tv/media is the result of a cultural shift in our society. While there are still some of us who root for the little guy, and sympathize with artists pitted against a virtual monopoly just to be heard, most people are not aware of the way the music industry is designed to control exposure. We live in a time when the music industry has realized their dream of controlling the signing, recording, manufacturing, publishing, marketing, promoting, broadcasting, and performing of music. In other words, they've won.

I didn't want them to win. I doubt most of you wanted them to win. I doubt that the average Joe on the street even knows that they won, or who 'they' are. But make no mistake about it, places like First Avenue are relics of a time long since passed. Unless some catastrophic event takes place to shake the very foundation of the corporate music industry, First Avenue's days as a pro-independent venue are numbered.

It's easy to blame the greedy bastards in the music industry. They are the obvious target. What people fail to understand is that they only won this war because we (the music consuming public) give them our money. They have successfully taken everyone's focus off of the band playing down the street and diverted our attention to the acts that make them money. It has become commonplace for people to turn on the Tonight Show to get their new music exposure, rather than visiting a local venue to actually experience it firsthand. The industry has also managed to suggest that watching a group on television is a worthy substitute for that live experience, and people are buying it. I can't tell you what the guys in Banehinge, American Head Charge, B!, or Stigma is up to these days - but I know all the latest rumors about Britney's pregnancy and Madonna's new childrens books. We can sit at home and watch VH1 while a great local band plays to an empty room just down the street. Perhaps the biggest crime they've committed is constantly suggesting that the music taking place in New York or London or LA is more relevant to you than the music happening in your own town, when actually the very opposite is true.

They will continue to spoonfeed us the music they want us to hear/buy/tell our friends about. I promise that will not change anytime soon. They are too good at their game, and we've gotten used to it to where everyone just accepts the system the way it is.

They will not change. They react to what we want so they can make more money. That's it.

The only thing that can create change is US. We can choose to push away the spoon and seek out new music for ouselves. We can turn off Leno, SNL, or MTV and go to places like First Avenue or the local bar. We can stop sending money to Britney and buy a local CD instead. We can pay attention to local bands and take pride in knowing that your community fostered the development of such amazing music. Talk to them after the show, write them an e-mail, or maybe you'll see them at the grocery store. These are real people that live in your town. Unlike Madonna and Maroon 5, local bands are actually accessible. When you read the City Pages and see a show with a bunch of bands you don't know about don't just say "I've never heard of these guys" and write it off, but pop in and check out the set. Maybe you'll find your next favorite band. Maybe, just maybe by doing these things you'll discover something much more meaningful than anything they can spoonfeed to you.

So boycott the Quest if you must, but don't berate the local bands for trying to get you to notice them.

regards,

~Ether~

 

Thursday November 18th, 2004

The drummer search continues. We're in a great position because Jendeen has been gracious enough to cover whatever shows we need from her, but we really want to get a full-time person in there to develop new material and become a cohesive unit. Cohesion is what we've always lacked, and Billy and I recognize that Robert's leaving has given us an opportunity to build it right this time. We've got auditions all weekend and hopefully some more the following week. I can only hope that someone will work out. If not, the search continues, and we're in no hurry really.

Speaking of Robert, I'm in a rather odd position at the moment. Well, actually that's a lie. I've always been the mediator between Billy and Rockula but this time there is a tension between them that I won't get in the middle of. It all stemmed from Robert leaving town [at the same time that] at least 200, possibly as many as 300 CDs that we are still making payments on [went missing]. Robert claims that he took them by accident, which seems rather difficult to believe. Billy is furious about it, and I'm just really disappointed. We tried so hard to part on a pleasent note with Robert, by treating him with respect, and we even threw him a going-away party. I spoke with Billy about it and we agreed we will probably never see those discs again, and made a plan to recoup our money with the remaining discs we have. Who knows, though? He may decide to actually return them, in which case all is forgiven, but we're not holding our breath. I've known Robert a long time and while he's done lots of questionable things in his life, I've never known him to be a liar. In fact, his openness and unabashed call-it-like-it-is is something I've always counted on.

The odd position I was speaking of resulted from that situation. Robert is playing a show here in Minneapolis with his new band later this month. While I would like to see the band, and see Robert again, this whole situation makes it rather complicated. Billy is still very hurt and angry about what he's done, and I don't want to betray my bandmate or 'take sides'. I want to give Rockula the chance to do what he's said he would do, but I also kind of feel like a chump by opening up myself for seemingly inevitable disappointment.

This is not to say I don't see the validity in Billy's feelings. I tend to be a bit more level in emotional matters, and I have a measured response to everything (which can often be really annoying, I'm told!). Robert is genuinely a good person deep down. I know this. Perhaps he did make a mistake and took too many by accident (we DID say he could have 50 of them). Maybe he took them and then the better angels of his nature made him think twice of it. Or maybe he wanted to hurt us as he left... I don't know. Billy seems to have made up his mind about it, and he has every reason to. The discs haven't showed up in the mail yet, so unless he plans on bringing them with him in tour they probably aren't coming. Billy was talking about going to the show just to see if he brought the discs, and then leaving if he didn't. It's not a bad idea, and maybe if he goes it will give me an excuse to attend.

I also know that sometimes Robert hurts people and doesn't know it. He doesn't mean to do it, he is just unaware of other people sometimes and his focus is on himself most of the time. I've been accused of making excuses for him or sticking up for him too much, but I understand Robert pretty well and I know he's doesn't intentionally set out to harm his friends. So maybe I'm naive. Oh well.

 

Monday November 8th, 2004

I attended the premier of the new documentary movie Venus of Mars this weekend. It was incredible, and to say I was touched as an understatement. It surrounds Venus' marriage and the unique circumstances that arise from transexuality entering the picture. This is only the most pedestrian description of this film, as I could not possibly do justice to what I saw with words.

The story inspired me, and helped me to understand my friends a bit more. At times it was a little awkward because I know these people, and there are answers to questions that I would've deemed too private to ask them myself contained within this film. So in a sense I feel as if I am now privvy to information that is really none of my business, but I am nonetheless very honored and grateful that Venus & his/her wife Lynette (and Jendeen) have chosen to share their stories in this way.

I really appreciated the fact that the film doesn't pass judgement, but rather leaves the audience to make up their own minds about what they've seen. I think the audience can not help but identify with the people in this film because they experience what I experienced when I first met them: they are all terrific people, inspiring artists, and witty conversationalists. I left the theater feeling a tremendous sense of awe for the strength and love in Venus & Lynette's relationship to have withstood the strains it has been subjected to.

It is a rare insight into lives such as these. In my experience, the transgender people I've come in contact with in my life have always been weary of making new friends... of opening themselves up. There seems to be a reluctance to accept new people- or at least to allow them to get close or have access to your vulnerabilities. Perhaps society trains this, because people can be extremely judgemental and cruel. I've always felt as if Venus keeps me at arms length, but has always been cordial and nice to me overall. In the last year, I've gotten to know Venus a little better which is very cool. Jendeen and I have hit it off - perhaps sensing we had a great deal in common, and a friendship has started to develop where previously only a professional relationship existed. Jendeen is very busy but we have a great time hanging out and playing together when we are able to find time to meet.

The movie also pointed out to me that for all of the stresses, torments, and challenges they both face they have a lot of people who really love them. What a support network! Legions of people exist beyond them that would love to call themselves 'friends' of the band just to be associated with them for popularity reasons or professional motives. It occurs to me that with so many people vying for their favor all the time, it's no wonder they may seem to have little space in their lives for new friends. It's probably difficult to discern who their 'real' friends are, and who wants to be around them for less genuine reasons. The film got me wondering which category they'd put me in...

Besides being an inspiring story of love, the movie was also showcased their unique senses of humor and was quite funny in places. It shows a lot of vulnerability one wouldn't expect. On stage, Venus comes off like he/she doesn't care what anyone thinks - but in the movie it shows a different side in which that is hardly the case. Venus even seems preoccupied with what people will think, what the stares mean, and how the family will react to the changes taking place. The movie didn't say, but I suspect that getting up on stage and showcasing one's transexuality is a similar coping mechanism in theory to the way I confront my inate shyness by taking the stage and performing. Not that my shyness issues are as difficult to deal with as transexuality, but it is the only way I can begin to relate to the idea of using art to deal with adversity.

I went to the afterparty at the Cabooze and saw All the Pretty Horses perform. I've seen this set a million times it seems, and am very familiar with it, but it was different this time. I saw it... THEM... in a different light. I remember hearing "Love is just a product of lust" coming out of Venus' mouth, and I thought to myself "you don't believe that, do you?" It's bullshit, I concluded. Their love is a product of something much deeper.

 

Monday October 25th, 2004

I attended my cousin's wedding over the weekend. It was nice to see reliatives, and catch up on things. I get very little contact with my family so I always look forward to the updates. They are really cool people.

I'm gearing up for Halloween right now. Poppy and I are decorating the house and we bought a shitload of candy to give to the little brats that will undoubtedly stop by. Our neighbor tells us to expect 150 kids.

The show at Star Central went pretty well, although the venue needed a much larger draw to make that place look full. It is tremendously huge, which made our meager audience seem even smaller. There were a number of victories that night, despite the lackluster promotion of the show. Autonomy played with Jendeen and the set sounded great. A bunch of my friends turned out for the show as well and it was great to have some time with them. I met a couple of musicians that are interesting in jamming with Billy and I and we were showered with compliments from a number of people. We also perfomed two new songs for the first time-

The first song was called Ophelia which begins with a somber retro-electronic intro and ends with a hard-bashing Tool-esque instrumental finale. It is a pretty symbolic artsy piece, and is not as literal as much of the other stuff I've written. Usually I write stuff from a pretty literal perspective, but this one is a departure for me and represents a new approach I wanted to play with. When I was a child, I remember disfiguring dolls that belonged to my little sister. I would jam out the eyes with a screwdriver, drive screws into it's
head, burn it, hang the dolls and hit them with metal pipes, etc. As I look back on this behaviour, I can only imagine what my parents may have thought of it. Years later, as an adult, I remember walking in an area of Dallas with my ex-drummer when we came across a bird bath that had a similarily disfigured doll in a white dress laying in it. I remember that image and it was actually quite beautiful. We wished we had a camera at the time, but we didn't. It would have been an amazing album cover! On the dolls dress was written in very small cursive the name "Ophelia". It conjured up memories of when I 'tortured' those little dolls my sister had. Since then, I've been
contemplating why I did such things and what may have been going through my head.

OPHELIA by William Lorentz

Ophelia
I didn't mean to hurt you
I didn't mean to make you cry
but I did it anyway
Ophelia
I didn't mean to hurt you
I didn't mean to desert you
but I did it anyway

and now I realize
I made a grave mistake
I took all there was to take...
...didn't think I'd live to see you die

Ophelia
You couldn't fuckin' wait
You didn't leave any reason
and now it's too late
Ophelia
If I could stop the sands from pouring
Stop your lonely spirit from soaring
I wouldn't hesistate

cause now I realize
I made a grave mistake
I took all there was to take
I didn't think I'd live to see you die.

I'm sorry, Ophelia. <<end>>

The second song has no name... yet. I have tentatively titled it "Music" for the time being. Unlike Ophelia, this one is literal
and is both a commentary about and a message to the music industry (and the fans of music). It's pretty self-explanatory I think, so
here are the lyrics:

MUSIC by William Lorentz

Stand close enough so you can hear
The words I am screaming in your ear
I'll give you much more than you can take
as you're struggling to stay awake
The music has been diluted by the years
and I'm forcing you to confront your fears
by opening your mind and your ears
There's no safety net to save you here.
Why?

Because MUSIC
should bring your soul to life
When it is done right

I know you're lost
but please don't be ashamed
You didn't know any better
this is the way you were trained
Everyone has been force-fed and led astray
put to sleep in the belly of the snake

Music
joins your soul to mine
Together we can bring a dead art back to life
Music
makes us whole
and you are in control.... more than you know

Sleeping.... sleeping.... deeply....
Sleeping.... deeply....
Have you forgotten what they've taken away?
Have you forgotten what they've taken away
while you were asleep?

<silence>
The space between us makes it hard to breathe
The air has been tainted and there is no relief
Conveyor-belt creations, bands all sound the same
and no one is willing to take a chance on a no-name

Devoured whole!
Forced to obey!
Put to sleep
in the belly of the snake!

 

 

Friday October 15th, 2004

What a week! I've been so busy that I think my friends may suspect that I fell off the face of the earth. I was just looking into rehearsal spaces. We've been in the same place for years, but recent security breaches of the compound have forced me to see other options. The Autonomy headquarters needs to be safe, and it is now clear that where we are... isn't. I found one place that looks very promising and I'm going to meet with the guy this weekend to tour this new facility.

For a month I've been asking Stigma and the other bands to send me logos and any poster concepts they generate so I can help reproduce and distribute them. They never got back to me, so I just created my own posters and flyers. I think they look pretty good but I didn't really have time to slave over them as I would have liked to. Oh well, hopefully we can do our part to bring in the masses to this wonderful show.

My neice Sammy is coming to visit me tonight, which is very exciting. She totally rocks, although I often worry about boring her or embarassing her. I would hate to be the embarassing uncle, but I guess that's for her to decide. At any rate, I really enjoy the time I get to spend with her. It will be a nice escape from this week of work and band stuff I've had to deal with.

Billy, Jendeen, and I had a late rehearsal last night to prepare for the gig. We also had a little talk about the future of the band, and her demanding schedule. It looks like she may be backing away a little since she is so busy and in demand. I think she is feeling as though she's spread too thin and not getting enough time to herself. This of course makes Billy and I a little sad, as we'd love to have her as a full-time member of the group- but it's clear that it is just not in the cards. I guess it's for the best, as it forces us to step up the search for a drummer. I also think for music such as ours, it's better to have 100% of a decent drummer than 15% of an incredible drummer like Jendeen.

The good news is we get to continue gigging with her until we find a replacement. I can't wait for this next show...

 

Tuesday October 12th, 2004

With birthday celebrations behind me, it's back to work. Back to my dayjob and also back to writing music.

I'm currently obsessed with working on a concept album idea I have. It's about gods. Not really the God in any kind of honest or sincere sense, but gods that people have in their lives. Things people will allow to rule them. My thought was to have each song tackle a different false idol, like money, fame, greed, cars, power, vanity, etc. I thought it was a really good idea and ripe with potential- but then I thought of the problems one might encounter making such an album:

First off, nobody listens to albums anymore. I do, but I know of few others who listen to bands for the albums they create, or judge music album by album. Most people are about the track... singular... unattached... in MP3 format... far removed from it's cousins on the accompanying CD. I miss B-sides... I love hearing the way songs relate to one another, forming a complete composition. That art is largely lost on those with today's digital instant gratification mindset.

Secondly, people are very sensitive about the subject matter. I'm not sure a critique on society is really where I want to go right now. It seems a bit pious and better-than-thou-ish of me. I'm a little worried that I'd be wasting my time on something that is so dry, in an age where things don't sell unless they're bootylicious.

I also wonder if this idea is worth purusing ahead of my other stuff that's already in progress. I have a rock opera I haven't finished, 6 Autonomy songs that need more garnish, a duet, and a whole slew of other ideas that need attention. I wonder if getting artsy fartsy is a good idea in a music scene that already doesn't know what to do with Autonomy. Billy wants to put out some polished, commercial rock tunes... upbeat jams that make people jump, sell beer, and sell CDs. I admit, our set is a bit more cerebral than the average rock band. We definitely take it slower, focus on our musicianship, set the table for the words to be delivered, and carefully control the energy level. An Autonomy show is not a Kid Rock experience by any stretch of the imagination. Billy would like to have more high energy material to balance out our soft/moody side.

But you know, he's right.

I spend too much time slaving over each line, honing my messages, and pondering how it all goes together. The end result is music that audiences enjoy, but don't know how to react to in a bar setting. It's too serious for people going to the bar to have a good time with buddies while getting shitfaced. We need to speak to people in a language they will understand, and do it with such force that there is no way to ignore us.

 

Monday October 4th, 2004

It's my 30th birthday. Yipee.

In truth, I'm not really bothered or elated about it. Age truly is a state of mind, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. So many of my friends in the past have 'settled down' once they reached this age, and given up on chasing the dreams they preached so much about in their 20s. For me, my 20s were just ten years of preparing myself for now. When I turn 40, I expect to look back and see the music I made in my 30s was far better than what I created in my 20s.

Still, I'm aware that others may perceive me differently at this new age. Maybe the younger fans of my music will feel more distant from me... I don't know... I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I'd like to think I write about universal emotions that anyone can feel or relate to. Hopefully the things I address in my music will cross generational boundries. If I can defy genre, I should be able to defy generation gaps. :)

When I was 18, I felt like I was 30. I've always felt older than I was... maybe I'm what they call 'an old soul'. So perhaps now my physical age has finally caught up with my mental age. At any rate, it's not something I devote much time to and it certainly isn't worth worrying about. I can't get younger, so older is where I must go. I'm cool with it.

On October 2nd I played the last show of my 20s with my dear friends Billy and Jendeen (The Rox in St. Cloud). Billy is just getting started on his 20s and Jendeen's 20s are probably just a vague memory to her (just kidding), so it's nice for me to draw from both of them. Billy provides a steady stream of his youthful, eager, fresh attitude to me and Jendeen graces me with her experience, wisdom, and chops. Both of them are very open-minded people who continually are growing both as musicians and as fans of music. I am truly fortunate to be surrounded by such people. Our performance elicited cheers and garnered us heaps of praise, but we all secretly felt we could've done better. There were mistakes that only we would catch, and errors that only we would know existed. Still, at the end of the night we played a great show and made a lot of people happy on a Saturday night. Is there anything better than that?

The band is working up new material for our next show. We have 4 songs that should be show-worthy by then, and I'm really excited about all of them. We haven't had a new tune to play since Everyone Serves a Purpose - that that was a long time ago. Some of these songs were written long ago, but difficulties writing with Rockula, and then difficulties finding his replacement, postponed development of the ideas. Hopefully I'll find the time to write a little summary of each song in here, at some point. They are all very emotional and very challenging at the same time. It is the challenging nature of these songs that is made simple by Jendeen. What once was so difficult to accomplish in a weeks worth of practice now takes a matter of minutes. Practice is actually enjoyable again. I can't say enough good things about Jendeen as a musician or a person, so I won't even try. What I will say though is the three of us have tremendous chemistry together. It is a shame (for us) that she is so busy with so many projects, as my mind reels to think what we could accomplish with more time and focus on Autonomy. But if there is one thing becoming 30 has taught me, it is that patience is a virtue. So I will be patient and take what I can get while these two wonderful musicians are still working with me.

30 isn't so bad. I wonder what 40 is like...

~Ether~

 

Thursday September 9th, 2004

We played an awesome show at the Fine Line with Jendeen. Too bad there weren't very many people there to see it! Metallica was in town that night and getting a draw at midnight on a Monday proved very difficult. But we played our hearts out and I really felt good about what we accomplished with the material. Those who actually DID attend were treated to Autonomy's best performance to date.

Our First Avenue appearance at Karnevil Noir went very well too. It was a different sort of show for Autonomy. We had Matt Bachelor on drums and Marko on alternative percussion - a first for us. It sounded remarkably good and it was really awesome to perform with Marko after working with him in the studio for so long. They are both quite gifted performers, and really put themselves into the show 100%. There was a good crowd present for this show, which had dancers/striptease girls and all sorts of crazy visual stuff between sets. We played really well. I think we set ourselves apart from the other acts that night.

 

Wednesday August 4th, 2004

Autonomy has been hard at work lately. Sunday and Monday we rehearsed with Jendeen and things are really coming along nicely there. She is so instinctive and talented that it makes it very easy... We had two long rehearsals which were pretty extensive but a lot of fun. Billy and I then held auditions on Tuesday and now we're hard at work promoting our upcoming show at The Fine Line.

Speaking of The Fine Line, I'm really excited to play this place. I've been to tons of shows there before as a spectator, but I've never performed. It is such a marvelous room and the sound has always been good when I've gone, so this will be a real treat for me personally. I guess they really liked our disc and press kit, but want to try us out to see how well we do. Apparently if we draw really well they will ask us back for a better night. Mondays are difficult for getting people out- especially when you play at midnight. But we are up for the challenge and I have some creative ideas to tempt people. For starters, we're giving away free tickets to the event both in person and through our website. The response has been good so far, and it hasn't even been 24 hours since I began this campaign.

 

Tuesday July 27th, 2004

This past weekend we had Rockula's going-away party at my house. The turnout was a little light, but we still had a good time. I think it was good for everyone to have a happy moment together before Rockula moved away. It also made me realize how far we'd drifted apart as friends. Billy left fairly early, and Rockula rarely spoke to me that night - in fact he never even thanked me or Poppy for putting together the party. I'm not mad though, because it was something I felt needed to be done and it's nice to part on a positive note. So many bands sacrifice all the time they spent together to pride and anger. It just isn't worth it.

On Monday night, Gary & Kathy Graczyk (Billy's parents) threw a little private dinner party for Rockula and had him as the honored guest. She cooked some amazing food and we drank some odd drink I've never had before. It was yummy and definitely helped to loosen up the mood a bit.

Tonight Billy and I are all about the future. We are auditioning a keyboardist for the first time, and exploring what that might sound like in Autonomy. The conversations I've had with this individual have been very promising and showed a great deal of creative drive. I am hoping for the best and just taking it slow. It will be fun to jam with someone new.

I've been asked to help Billy with his graduation recital. He will play a full set of various tunes he's worked up, and will close his set with Autonomy. Jendeen Forberg has agreed to cover the drums and we are looking forward to that very much. The two songs we are working up are Ignite and Scars.

 

Monday July 12th, 2004

I'm mostly done with the move, and I'm in the process of cleaning out my old apartment while unpacking in the new place. Poppy and I would like to get a housewarming party together soon, but we've been so busy that time has been scarce.

Drummer auditions are going well. We continue to take our time and we have had some excellent people come through. Autonomy will play it's first gig with a different drummer on Thursday at The Garage in Burnsville, MN. Matt Bachelor has taken the helm for this show as a guest drummer, and he has picked up the material quite well. It is definitely not the same as having Rockula back there, but the difference in approach is interesting. I think people will really enjoy seeing a difference interpretation of the material and if nothing else we will have fun.

 

Thursday July 1st, 2004

I bought a house! It is such a beautiful place, and I just feel right about it. I just really needed a place of solitude and peace that I can call my own... a place where my art can be rooted and truly blossom.

It is in a very normal American neighborhood, with people that seem to be generally decent people. I hope I'm not too loud or wierd for them. haha

The band situation has stability, at last. It took a month for us to deal with the blow Rockula dealt to us by leaving but we're still on our feet. We now have backup drummers available to us through friends who have been very supportive and eager to work with us. It is nice for Billy and I, as we can now continue to gig and tour while we audition for a permenant replacement on drums. The luxury of time is one that most bands in our position rarely have. We are lucky!

The material has been writing itself lately and I have never felt so inspired... free to create. It is awesome. We are working on a very slow, jazz-based piece that is reminiscent of early Pink Floyd. We also have a few of my recent electronic creations to slave over, as well as one song from my past that we are attempting to resurrect. So we are busy!

 

Wednesday June 16th, 2004

It's been two weeks now since Rockula quit and we've begun the reconstruction process. It's going really well so far. We've auditioned a couple of promising drummers, and have more prospects lined up. We are taking out an ad and getting the word out over the internet in hopes to get as many candidates through the door as possible.

Musically, things have really begun to open up for Billy and I. Writing together as a team has been very liberating. We are rediscovering each other and learning to play off one another better than ever. The music is coming so naturally and it is really fun to create in such a productive and encouraging environment. I never realized how much the negative tension in the band was affecting the creative process.

 

June 3rd, 2004

Rockula left the band two nights ago. He claims his goals are different than ours. He wants us to quit our jobs and tour the US, even if it means sleeping in our cars and playing for gas money to get to the next town. Billy and I don't want to do that, naturally. We view it as unpractical, foolish, and virtually impossible considering the group's financial obligations (debt, monthly expenses, etc.). He views it as a lack of commitment on our part. I don't think it is possible for us to see eye-to-eye on this, but it doesn't matter. The end result is the same.

So my natural instinct is to call his excuses for leaving a cop-out, but I bite my tongue. To end things with him on a sour note after all we've been through would be as foolish as his notion that I am not committed to my music. I really think he just wants to go home to his safety-net... his home... I know what it's like to be away... I think there are deeper issues at play here with him, but whatever he wants to tell himself to justify this action is fine by me. He is a good friend and he is making a decision that I think was inevitable. I have to respect that.

Billy and I had been talking about asking him to leave for some time, but he took the burden of being the one who brought it up. I'm glad he didn't make us do it, because it's always so hard to have that conversation with someone with whom you've grown so close. I really do respect him, I just wish he would focus himself and realize the potential that has been within him all these years. It is my hope that moving back to his family and friends in Dallas will give him the support structure he needs to rediscover himself, focus, and truly apply his talents to something he loves.

 

May 25th, 2004

I just returned from a long weekend at the cabin. We were attending a wedding for our friends Raven and Alissa in Hibbing, MN on the Iron Range. Fortunately, since that is so close to our cabin, the old place ended up housing a few of our friends for the weekend. It was a nice time, although not long enough.

Autonomy is booking summer shows and preparing the pump the album outside of this state. Our exposure on Garageband.com has been really helpful as well, and is getting us attention from people that wouldn't have otherwise had exposure to us.

Poppy and I are also looking into buying a house, which is a very large undertaking. In the long run it will end up costing much less than what we pay in rent and will aid us in building equity for our other pursuits. I'm really excited about it, but there is so much to do and be aware of that we've really learned a lot. There is still more to learn, but we're doing very well. We've found a place we really like and we're trying to decide whether we should make an offer on it or not.

 

April 14th, 2004

I've started my own graphic design business. I figured with all the graphics work I do for Autonomy, the benefit of building my own design studio go far beyond money. It is a modest start, but I've already done a few jobs and have brought in some cash. That's always nice. People really seem to like my work, and my style has really set me apart. I get comments about the CD design all the time, and now I'm designing other people's CD artwork. Not bad work if you can get it!

I'm also looking at buying a house. I'm fairly certain that both Autonomy and I have much more to do here in Minneapolis so this is where I will be for a while. This town is our home base and I see no reason to change it. So rather than pay rent and waste money, I'm going to invest it and take advantage of the low interest rates.

It is a big step though. I'm very new to the idea of being a homeowner. I know nothing about home maintenance, or what it will really take. I haven't mowed a lawn in ages... I guess I'll have that opportunity very soon!

 

Saturday April 17th, 2004

The CD Release Party was an absolute blast. I do not remember the last time I performed so hard for such a willing audience. Everyone participated, screamed, cheered, and sang along. It was a dream... really.

I try to think of highlights, and it's all so muddled-up in my head... It was great to have my sister Statchi there... many of our friends.... Torrey... Alissa... Karl... Tina & Odin helped out emmensely with this show.... I met Laura's parents... Drok, formerly of PCP was there... I met lots of Billy's friends and even some new family, which was cool... It also felt good to show Poppy how far we'd come...

 

Thursday April 15th, 2004

Tomorrow is the big day... our CD release party. Despite the droves of problems that have had to be resolved regarding this gig, I'm actually getting pretty amp'd for this show. We have a cool replacement lineup in Countach and All Flesh, the banners are complete, we will have our video screens, and Autonomy is ready to play. I've still got a couple of issues to resolve, such as whether or not to have someone introduce us... and who that would be. I guess Rockula has some ideas so I'm letting him run with it... I've got to get my head in the game and don't need anything else to worry about.

We've advertised the hell out of this show (as much as we could considering the date change midway through our promotion) and I expect we will have a huge audience. I'm sure we can fill the 7th St. Entry no problem. Autonomy is beginning to cause a stir and we're becoming known. It seems that if people in town haven't heard us, at least lots of them have heard of us.

Not enough people are buying our album. They seem to think it's just another local band putting out some crap. So few people appreciate my art, the amount of time we put into this recording, or the level of craftsmanship that went into it throughout the process. It is an incredible album and I just want people to give it a chance. I hope that tomorrow they will.

 

Tuesday April 13th, 2004

Last week was crazy.

On Wednesday, Autonomy 'headlined' the main stage at First Avenue. Really, that's a technicality. Anyone who plays music knows there is a definite difference between headlining and simply playing last. We played last. It was a 3 songs set that was barely worth getting out of work early, hauling all of our gear, and sitting around First Avenue for 6+ hours. We rocked, and that's all that really matters so I'm letting it go.

Autonomy played in the best lineup we've ever been in on Friday at the Urban Wildlife. We played alongside two other AMAZING Minneapolis trios. B! was the headliner and they are a really polished band. We knew this, we've seen them before, we're fans. What we didn't know was how good the opening band was going to be. The Altar of Rock blew me away and quickly became a favorite local band of mine. Immediately, actually. They have tons of audio energy and a very catchy, groove-centered sound that begs for headbanging. I tried to book them for our CD Release show, but they were unable to do it due to previous engagements. We definitely will be doing shows together in the future though. I'd really like to get all 3 of these bands together again sometime.

Autonomy appeared on 93X's Loud and Local radio program on Sunday night. That was really fun, and I think we did really well. Got the word out about the gigs... the site... etc. Patrick was nice enough to play 2 tracks on the radio, and they sounded amazing. Even better on the radio.

Sunday I went home to visit my parents and family for Easter. They celebrate it in traditional fashion and it was really fun smashing confetti-filled eggs over my nephew's head (Max). I ate too much.

Tonight I play bass for All the Pretty Horses, again at First Avenue. It will be my last performance with them, unless they ask for additional help. I don't know how the search is going, but they seem to have some prospects. It should be fun playing the main stage with them, and I hope a good audience shows up. I'm looking forward to working off some of that Easter weight I put on!

 

Thursday April 1st, 2004

I'm quitting Autonomy, effective immediately.

APRIL FOOLS! haha... ok, just kidding. I wouldn't quit now.... especially after we've come so far! We've got a radio appearance scheduled and a couple of the best shows we've ever had lined up so the future is looking very bright.

I played my first gig with All the Pretty Horses, and it went really well overall. I was sloppier than I'd like to have been, but I'll be able to tighten up my playing for the First Avenue gig. They have so much energy on stage, and such inredibly stage presence. It was truly a fun experience. It is amplified by the fact that Autonomy is such a different type of band. Where ATPH goes for show, Autonomy goes for musicianship. It's just a different approach to our art. Autonomy is far more laid back and sinister on stage. I wouldn't change it, but it's fun to dabble in their style too.

Mostly I'm interested in taking the pressure off of ATPH so they can find a proper bassist as a permenant player. I know what it's like to be under pressure to find a replacement player when shows are scheduled, the gears are turning, and the band is trudging forward. I just don't want to see them settle for a bassist that isn't right, just because they were in a hurry to get someone in place. Hopefully my presence will allow that freedom.

 

Monday March 22nd, 2004

I've been given the honor of being a fill-in bassist for All the Pretty Horses. We will be doing a couple of shows together and I've really enjoyed rehearsing with the band and learning the material. It's also a good feeling to help out a band I respect, and to get to know them a little better. Most of all, I'm enjoying being 'just a bassist' again. No singing, no frontman stuff, just playing bass.... the way I started....

Rockula is going to return from Dallas today or tomorrow. It will be nice to have him back in the Twin Cities. I'm sure he had a great time, and probably is wondering why he came here in the first place. Whenever one returns home, they are deluged in attention - and Rockula loves attention so I'm sure it made him very happy.

 

Thursday March 18th, 2004

Autonomy has been dropped from the Minnesota Metalfest at the Quest. The whole situation was very tacky and unprofessional. The only explanation I got for why we were dropped is 'your drummer is a southpaw, and we want all of the bands to use the same kit'. Rockula wouldn't play another drum kit in the first place... Aside from all that, I think it's silly to cancel a band because their drummer is left-handed. I can't very well ask him to play right handed.

The sad thing is, we were one of the biggest drawing bands on that stage. They have no idea what they are giving up by kicking us off of the show. Nobody promotes, performs, or produces like Autonomy. At least not in this town.

Fortunately Autonomy has two other big shows lined up for Minneapolis in the month of April. We get to have a night of trios with B! and Altar of Rock at the Urban Wildlife, and we have our official CD release party at the 7th St. Entry. I'm thrilled about both of them, as I know we can pack both of these shows and have a great time.

 

Wednesday March 3rd, 2004

Last night Autonomy gathered (with our girls) for a private showing of our first video attempt. The song was Don't Preach and the video was directed by Joey Kidwell. Overall my impression of the piece was that it was a bit rough, and it felt like a snuff film. It's very creepy and cryptic... We all learned a lot from this experience and I am very grateful to Kidwell for walking us through it and putting so much effort into it. He is so supportive and fun to work with.

We also continued our discussions about the future of Autonomy. We're pressing forward with all of our might! Steamrolling Minneapolis was atop the agenda, and we're a bit frustrated with how long it takes to organize certain media functions and such... Local media is especially slow to realize how we are energizing this music scene. Sure, everyone wants to write about bands that talk trash and fight amongst themselves... A band like Autonomy that promotes scene unity and supports other artists may at first appear to be an unsexy story, but we will show them. In time they will hear our material and see what we're made of.

 

Monday March 1st, 2004

I've decided Autonomy needs to begin prioritizing. I've got so much going on right now that it is difficult to keep track of it all. I really have painted myself into a difficult spot, but I need to see this through. I'd like to rely more on my bandmates for help in dealing with these issues, but it remains to be seen how much they can produce. It's not that they don't want to help... Many of the things that need to be done right now are business-related items that tend to fall on me. Billy is working with a fellow who is interested in doing some booking for the band, but other than that he (Billy) is largely still learning the ropes of music business. Not just that but he has music school, a girlfriend, and has guitar lessons to teach which makes his time very precious. Rockula, on the other hand, often gets so preoccupied with trying to do too much that he is distracted from his primary job of being the drummer. I'd really like to scale back his workload to help him focus on his drumming. He tends to get caught up in trying to be the booking guy, contribute to writing, doing video, and all of the other projects he's involved in that his playing begins to suffer.

Naturally the solution can't be to have me do everything. Just like them, I'm busy. I can't be in twelve places at the same time, and I need to have a certain amount of focus in order to be useful. I am going to pursue getting a full-time booking agent, and possibly a part-timer or two, who will largely take over the responsibility of arranging concerts and festivals. I also want to begin searching for a manager, who will handle some of our business affairs and serve as the official liason for the band.

I think if Autonomy can get this help, we can all afford to focus a little more on what we're best at. I would love to be able to simply writing music and doing the band's artwork. Those are the things that make me the happiest. Those are the things that have been missing lately...

I've worked out an arrangement with Rockula that I think will work well. Billy and I found ourselves growing frustrated with Rock's "I am a rock star" attitude, which tends to come-off as selfish over time. We all sat down and talked about it, and then I met with Rockula at his house this past week to arrive at an arrangement. Rockula told me this band was everything to him and he'd do whatever it takes to fix it. I have to respect that... and give him the chance keep Autonomy's magic alive. I hope that if we call can focus on what we're best at, that magic won't be hard to find.

 

Wednesday February 25th, 2004

Things are crazy... So much is happening and the band is having some very heavy talks lately. I don't know what will come out of it but I have to believe that these changes are happening for a reason, and for the better.

I had a long conversation with Rockula last night and we worked some things out... Billy was there too for much of it. There was a lot put out on the table from all of us and I'm just trying to absorb it all right now. It's a bit overwhelming, but I'm pressing on. I think I just need to focus on working... writing... playing... that's always helped me find center in the past.

 

Tuesday February 24th, 2004

Our show last Friday at Mister Heavy's was hard-earned money. We drove on slippery roads to the gig, loaded-in to a small space on the floor in the basement portion of the club, played to a tough crowd which we didn't win over until the last 3 songs, and had to load out over a pile of vomit that nobody seemed interested in cleaning up.

My favorite part of the evening was winning over that crowd. For the first half of our set they looked at us like we were from another planet. Between songs there was no applause, or at least very sparse applause. It wasn't until the end of our set that people started coming around to us, and then it got progressively more exciting from there. We ended big and the crowd went crazy, which felt good. Winning over the skeptical is the best feeling in the world.

Rockula pissed me off at the end of the night. He took off early and left the band with all the gear, minus his drumkit, and didn't bother to tell anyone. To be truthful, I wasn't really angry at first... more worried than anything else. I figured he must've had an emergency or something that called him away. I became annoyed later, when I learned that he just left because he wanted to go... I became angry when I confronted him about it and he refused to acknowledge that he'd done anything wrong. It's very frustrating, because I would never dream of abandoning my band at a show with all the gear without first asking if it was ok.

This is really the culmination of various problems Rockula and I have had in our relationship lately. I don't really know why, because we consider each other good friends and were once very close. Lately the distance seems to be increasing, and our differences are becoming more and more evident. Tonight I will meet with the band and attempt to talk this stuff through in hopes that we can find middle ground.

 

Tuesday February 17th, 2004

I've finally shored up the details about the new Wisconsin date we've added. We are playing at a place called Mister Heavy's in Menomonie, WI with a band we're already very familiar with- No Loving Place. We've heard them perform before and even got copies of their CD. They have a lot of promise and I can't wait to hear what they bring to this show. I guess this venue is rather cozy... 50 people looks like a big crowd there. It will be a far cry from our last gig at the Urban Wildlife, but still I just love getting in front of a crowd with this band.

Poppy returns tomorrow. I'm sure she will be too tired to do much, but I'm going to try to tap her for all the stories and pictures I can. I miss her a great deal and can only hope she makes it back safe- albeit a bit sunburned.

Which brings me to my next point. I tried telling her to wear sunblock. I tried, really. Did she listen? No. She was sunburned after the first day. Then she started wearing sunblock, but a very weak one that is rather pointless for the sun she has to be enduring. I know rock stars aren't supposed to give a shit, but why be so damned stubborn? I refuse to think it's the red hair. All the "I told you so's" in the world only go so far.

 

Monday February 16th, 2004

My wife is away in Hawaii on a wedding photography shoot, so I'm at home alone. It's strange having her away from me for so long, but I've had a chance to do a lot of writing and reflection undisturbed. I have a tendency to get kinda clingy in a relationship, so it's probably good to have time apart. Gives us both a chance to breathe and be ourselves for a while...

We have a gig lined up for Wisconsin again, this time I know very little about the show. I think Billy set it up and has yet to get details to me. It's this Friday so I hope he figures it out soon!

 

Monday February 9th, 2004

We played an awesome show at the Urban Wildlife. The band was in rare form and I can't remember the last time I had that much fun on stage. The audience is really what made the show, and brought the energy level up in the room and in our performance. It was great to see so many people singing the words back at me! That's what really stands out for me...

We also had video help from Todd Wardrope that really helped this show to stand out. Rockula and I share an interest in exploring video as a communication medium in conjunction with our music and I saw a glimpse of our ultimate dream being realized that night. It may have just been a glimpse of the dream, but it was also the spark that ignited a renewed interest in this art form for me. Expect to see more video excursions in shows to come.

We've got at least 8 new songs we're working up. I'm a little frustrated at the slow pace we've had to endure on this material. Time constraints and heating issues at our rehearsal space have been rough lately, but we've got heat now and with Poppy going to Hawaii this week- nothing but time.

 

Tuesday January 20th, 2004

The gig in La Crosse fell through. Rockula won't tell me what happened, other than to say that "they booked someone else" for the night. Oh well, we wanted to do more of a push in that city before we play there again anyway...

Sounds like we will be getting T-shirts made up again. That's really good news since people had been asking for them and we ran out some time ago. I was going to change up the design a bit but I'll stay with the classic original for now. No sense in messing with a good thing that everyone seems to love...

Still no cigarettes for me in 2004. It's beginning to take an effect on me. I notice differences in the way my voice behaves. I can hit higher notes for sure, and my lung capacity is coming back to me. It is beginning to show up in my songwriting as well, as I find myself unconciously writing more difficult melodies that utilize my newfound abilities. Those who attend our next show will get a glimpse of Ether's new and improved supervoice. mwah ha haaaa!

 

Wednesday January 14th, 2004

So tired of being poor... I mean, really... I'm all about paying dues and all that, but this is just getting ridiculous. I work too hard and too well to be this poor. I've got to find a way to make more money...

Maybe I'm just crabby about not having a cigarette. It's been hard but I've resisted so far and haven't cheated at all on my resolution. I went to a company holiday party where everyone was smoking and playing pool. That was the hardest... Smoking is just what I do when I play pool...

We landed another gig in La Crosse for later this month. Chalk that one up to Rockula. He's really coming alive as a gig-getting machine, and I hope he keeps it up! He has a talent for it if he decides to develop it.

 

Tuesday January 1st, 2004

I had a fantastic New Years... I drank quite a bit, but not so much that the room was spinning or anything... Mostly just enjoyed myself with friends and had a good time at home. Today begins my resolution to quit smoking too... I've never made resolutions before, but I've tried quitting smoking every other way imaginable so I figure this is another approach. Hopefully my pride won't allow me to fail.

 

Wednesday December 31st, 2003

The album came just a couple of days before Christmas. At long last! Already we're selling them to people hungry for the album. I thought I was the only one who was anxious for it... It didn't make it in time for the 7th St. Entry show, which was a big drag- but better late than never.

We sold something like 50 in the first couple of days, mainly through Billy and his friends. That doesn't count the website sales- I don't know what they are yet but I know there have been a good number of pre-orders.

Christmas was great this year, although I was too poor to do a whole lot in the way of gifts for family and friends. Perhaps one day I'll have rock star riches so I can give them all what they deserve... I got some nice stuff though. Poppy gave me an X-box, which I've been wanting for a long time. Now I can geek out on pointless games for hours on end when I'm not working on music. A new computer throne, as I like to call it. It's a big leather office chair that is incredibly wicked. My neice gave me a guitar strap which is black with tribal designs in silver on it. I think I'll put it on my accoustic bass. More than the gifts, I really enjoyed the time spent with the people I love. There's not enough of that in my life sometimes, and it's easy to take people for granted. It's good to be reminded of what's really important.

 

Thursday December 4th, 2003

We've signed-on with Under the Radar, and I am thrilled about the relationship we've formed. I really believe this is the ticket to taking Autonomy to the next level. It's a perfect fit for us, and we can grow into it and get out of it what we wish. The CD is in production now, and they've built an on-line storefront for Autonomy on their site which will sell it. We're planning the official release of the album for January, but I want to sell it to our fans at shows this month if at all possible. It's just one small way to pay them back for the support and patience they've shown us all this time.

I'm so relieved to have this chapter behind us. I've been so caught up in the business end of Autonomy lately that I've neglected the most important part - making music. I haven't written a song in months! I've been prepping art, copyrighting, mixing, recording, mastering, researching, phoning, and just basically DOING so much that the music itself took the backburner.

Now I'm ready to get back into the swing of being a musician. My work is done and all that is left now is to write, perform, sell the disc, and create the art I know Autonomy is capable of. Billy and I are getting together tonight to write music. We have lots of ideas floating around, and I hope to come away with 2 or 3 good song skeletons by the end of the night.

I'm very excited about returning to the 7th St. Entry on December 20th. Autonomy has played First Avenue's mainstage, but never the Entry. The last time I played the Entry, I was in Avalon - which was my second band ever. I remember loving that room and the intimacy between the performers and the audience. It is an asset and a detriment, really. I mean, it's great when you're packed in close with a really great band - like the time I saw Helmet there. It also really sucks when the band sucks - because there's nowhere to hide.

 

Thursday November 20th, 2003

I went deer hunting for two weekends straight, in a year that there are supposedly record numbers of deer, and came back empty-handed. That fuckin' sucks. I froze my ass off for nothing but the memories. Oh well... next year...

Billy and I met with Miki from Under the Radar records... good meeting... very promising...

 

October 4th, 2003

It's my birthday, and what better gift to receive than the album! It's done, and it sounds amazing. I'm working on ways to get it produced for the best price, and trying to learn as much as I can about distribution and web marketing. There is a lot to absorb, to say the least...

This album is everything I wanted it to be for the money we put into it. We actually got by very cheap compared to some recordings I'm familiar with. One can spend any amount of money they want to, and it takes real ingenuity to make a great recording like this on a budget. Autonomy has passed this test, and now I'm convinced we can do anything. We are truly unstoppable and I am on a mission to make the world recognize this band's golden gift.

Furthermore, Marko has shown me he has a gift of his own. He has a great ear and sensibility for music that I find priceless. I hope to work with him more on future projects, and I think he feels the same about me.

Also, Poppy got me a paintball gun. I am all about paintball now. What a birthday gift. I'd played the game before on a couple of occasions and I simply loved it. It gives a wimp like me a taste of what real combat might be like. Granted it's not deadly, but your adrenaline really gets going when the shots start whizzing around your head and bouncing off shit. It's pretty intense, and the players take it seriously which just adds to the effect. I remember the first time I was hit thinking, "I'd be dead now if this were real". It sorts gives me a real appreciation for troops that do it for real, and soldiers who've fought in wars.

 

Monday September 8th, 2003

Gawsh I'm poor. It sucks. I'm so very tired of being a starving artist... Poppy's birthday is coming up and I can't even afford a gift for her. That's really sad. I'll make it up to her somehow... It really makes a person feel small to not be able to buy a simple gift for the ones they love.

 

Saturday August 9th, 2003

The studio is moving soooo slowly, but for very good reasons. We really want to get the album done, but there is a sense that we must take our time and do this RIGHT. That is the foremost concern. We all want this album to be something we can hold up and be proud of. So to accomplish this on our meager budget, we must take the time and be patient.

Playing with Little Tin Box this weekend was just what we needed to get out of our rutt. Even though we have this attitude about making the album 'right' - it's still frustrating because of how time consuming it is. We'd never played with LTB before, and it really brought us up. They are very talented, and have such musicianship! We hit it off right away and it seems we both want to do more shows together in the future. They are expecting a child in the near future though, so it sounds like they'll be taking a break from playing out for a while. When they're back I fully intend on working with them a lot. Our bands compliment one another without being the same. Not to mention, they're truly very nice people.

 

Sunday July 27th, 2003

We played an awesome show with the Horses and Stigma - two bands we have great respect for locally. They both treat us very well and seem to understand that we're not just another cookie-cutter act. Playing with these two bands is the closest thing to realizing my dream as I've come. While all three bands are very different from one another, we are also very similar in many regards. I find this to be especially true in our approach to our art. We all take it very seriously, have real messages and meanings to our works, and all invest a great deal of ourselves in our performances. We all 'put it out there' so to speak.

Considering we just came off a gig playing with a band called Skullfuckers Incorporated, it is very refreshing to be with legitimate musicians that have a very serious and real approach to what they do. I want to do gigs that help promote bands that have this legitimacy about them, as opposed to the typical screamer-rock losers the scene is so inundated with at the moment. So many bands want to imitate rather than create. It's very sad, really.

 

Saturday June 28th, 2003

Mixing the album... we're on song 4 right now. Ignite... This song is going more smoothly than I thought it would. The vocals are the big challenge on this one, as I have lots of ideas for effects, panning, backup vocal treatments, etc. Much to do.. Marko and I are becoming a better team as we do more of this. Rockula and Billy are present in the studio much of the time, but have short attention spans for this type of tedious work. I don't blame them really, mixing is a different art form all together and it takes a tremendous amount of patience and a great ear.

Our last show at the Cabooze re-energized me. We didn't play to a very big audience (maybe just over 100 people) but the band was the best I've ever heard us be. I told Odin, our stage manager, that I was finally able to find Ether. The band was excellent, but I was also very proud of my performance and felt I had finally found the essence of the character I'm trying to become on stage. It felt GOOD.

So even though the studio is moving at a slow pace, I feel good because there are plenty of new experiences to keep my interest. That was our first show at the Cabooze, and we will definintely go back. Now we have our first show at Jersey's coming up to look forward to. After that, our first CD release party! I can't wait.

 

Saturday May 24th, 2003

It's the X-Fest weekend, and as much as I'd like to be there playing the event - it wasn't in the chips this year. Autonomy performed well at the Battle of the Bands and we played to hundreds of people so I'm happy with that. Autonomy still has a lot of growing-up to do as a band, and one can't rush these things. Besides, it was a really great reality check for us. It reminds us that we're prehaps not as indestructable as we think we are... keeps us working hard... striving for better things.

The upside of all of this is it has allowed us to concentrate on completing the debut album. We are ahead of schedule and the preliminary cuts sound extremely promising. At our last session, Marko worked with us on scrubbing tracks of all the little hisses and clicks that one incurs on a big recording project. We cleaned it all up and now it's beginning to take on that studio clarity. Now we begin the task of mixing and applying effects... post-processing. I would like to approach this as a track-a-day endeavor. There are still a few little fix-its to address but it's maybe an hour of work tops...

 

March 5th, 2003

We've begun work in the studio recording the new album, and although the drum tracks are the only finished part so far it sounds great already. I will go in to record bass parts this week... possibly some vocals. Marko has done a top notch job in working with Rockula to achieve a drum recording that will do him justice. I'm very happy so far, and can't wait to get back at it.

We lined up a couple more shows over the past week. I just finished the art for our promotional materials to be used for the upcoming Turf Club show, and we just landed another show at The Rock. It will be good for us to get some live fulfillment after all this studio time.

 

December 28th, 2002

Playing the XXX-mas show at First Avenue was the single greatest concert I have played to date. It was the perfect combination of all elements that make a show great. A communication existed between us and the audience that I am unable to explain, other than to say the rift between performer and attendee never seemed so minute. We were all in it together. I felt it so strong that as soon as I left the stage and situated my gear, I was jumping into the Banehinge mosh pit with the people I had just been playing to (with).

Autonomy made me very proud at this show, too. Rockula demonstrated his power unrelentlessly as if it were the culmination of his years of experience. I also believe Billy has proven himself as an enigmatic performer and skilled musician that only grows more competant with every show.

The first time I went to the legendary First Avenue, I knew one day I would be up on that stage. I am so grateful to Shannon Bretl, the other bands, the fans, and First Avenue for making that dream come true. What a first time...

 

December 14th, 2002

Another first- radio. Autonomy was asked to be interviewed on 93X's radio show "Loud n' Local" which features local bands on Sunday nights. We met host Patrick and he was a very pleasent guy and quite nice to all of the bands.

Aside from Rockula berating Billy and trying to steal some beef jerky from the 93X conference table, the day went pretty well. The studio where the show took place was filled with musicians and someone brought a 12 pack so that disappeared quickly. Rockula did most of the talking, but doesn't he always?

It would have been nice to have some newer material to play on the radio, but I think our selection was still fitting in a way. It's how we started out so our radio debut can reflect that. This band will develop in the public eye. I really really like that about Autonomy.

 

December 10th, 2002

We played our first headlining gig at the Red Sea for Thanksgiving, and it was fantastic but to be honest our minds were (and are) elsewhere. We all are very worked-up about our first time on the mainstage at First Avenue.

For years, I've always been the kid down on the floor who looks up at that stage and thinks in his midwestern naivity, "I've gotta play that stage someday" as my heros have for years. The place is a musician's wet dream. My heros from Mike Patton to Helmet to Prince to you name it have all been on that stage in that venue. It's an honor, and you can bet we are going up there with something to prove- not just to Minneapolis or the legacy of First Avenue, but to ourselves.

 

November 5th, 2002

The death of Paul Wellstone is a big deal at the moment. Losing a senator is always a big deal, but it matters more to me because I actually met the guy on a couple of occasions. I was introduced to him first in high school when my orchestra toured Washington D.C. and played the capital. He shook hands with everyone in the group and was nice, but we didn't really know who he was or anything. Years later I saw him again in Minnesota, and so I shook hands with him and talked briefly. He said "Take care of yourself, William" as we parted ways. I stood in awe as it dawned on me that he remembered my name somehow. It had been years, and he had no reason to remember me from that casual first encounter. But he did.

Now it's election night, and he is missed by so many...

I've been informed of some new gigs that have me very excited as both of them are "firsts" for me. Right around Thanksgiving we will be headlining our first show in a a night featuring our friends from Sepsis. We are eager to test our mettle as a headliner and put on a very memorable show. Secondly, we have been put on the lineup for XXX-Mas in December at the legendary First Avenue. I've gone to this club for years, watching bands too numerous to name, and wishing one day I'd be up there on that stage. Well, now it is a reality and I can't wait. I want to perform harder than I ever have for that show in tribute to those musicians who played there before me.

At the moment, my focus is on these shows. We're also trying to get our live album ready for release, but it has been a slow process. I haven't even heard it but the engineer claims there are some definite 'moments' captured.

October 5th's gigs with All the Pretty Horses are ones I will remember for a long time. The band was well-rehearsed and the new material came across just as I hoped it would. Autonomy is beginning to form into the band Rockula and I first envisioned it to be when we started this journey. Much of that journey is still to come, of course, but this is a great next step. We have big plans...

All the Pretty Horses have truly proven themselves as performers with purpose. Both bands were talking about how well we played off each other and how a great show had formed out of two bands so different from one another. I look forward to the next chance we have to stand alongside our newfound creative compatriots and play to these awesome TC audiences.

Autonomy is not in a hurry to mature... We are committed to the idea of 'growing up' in front of our hometown fans. Everyone here has a chance to see a great band form and develop before their very eyes.